Guide to: Choices
by darkbunny92
Summary: 10 years after Reunions,everything should be great, right? WRONG.At 28 years old,Ned seems to have it made.After he's sent to take care of Cookie's hyper 3 almost 4 year old daughter, he begins to wonder...Has he made the right choices? Sequel to Reunions
1. 1 in the morning

Disclaimer: I don't own Ned's Declassified.

Author's Notes: I'm a pretty bad liar. Didn't you all know that I was going to write the follow up story that I mentioned I might do? I would have done it regardless of the support from my fan base. I know that my readers for Jimmy, Timmy, Danny are going to resent me a lot for this (Since I've been working on this universe rather than that one) But I will get both done. Promise. I hope my readers from the previous stories stay with me...

_From the Notebook of Ned Bigby_

_This isn't a diary. This is a notebook. For things that I notice that might end up being in my next book. I've never really done this before to write a book. Usually I use the system that I've used since middle school, where I just write down tips and things in categories and put little introductions. Sounds easy but it's harder than it seems. Everything has been insanely stressful in my life lately lately, but I hope I just don't shelve this entirely when I get frustrated. Because that happens. Shit. This IS starting to look like a diary. _

The stupid phone won't stop ringing. Who knew that such a tiny electronic device could be such an annoyance? It continues to make noises happily on his nightstand despite the fact that the owner of the phone is ignoring it. He groans and rolls over. Unfortunately, he was already on the edge so he hits his forehead on the nightstand and falls to the floor. As he sits on the floor, trying to collect himself, the phone falls into his lap. He sighs and opens the phone. "What the hell, Cookie!" he glances at the glowing red numbers on his clock. 1 in the morning.

"Shhh" Cookie's voice rings through the line. "She could have heard you"

"Cookie, its 1 in the morning!" Ned growls. "Say what you have to say"

"I have to ask you a favor" Cookie says. "And it's only 9"

"And it couldn't wait until morning?" Ned groans. "Time difference?"

"Nedcanyoucomeoverhereandtakecareofmydaughterfortwoweeks?"

"In English, please?"

"Can you fly out here and take care of Lisette for two weeks?"

"Sure." Ned gazes at his pillow. It looks so soft and welcoming.

"Good, because I just booked you on the next flight at 4 am. I just e-mailed you the information" Ned hears a few keystrokes in the background.

"What?"

"You already said you would do it" Cookie reminds him.

"Yeah. Right. Damn."

"Can I use your apartment?" Cookie requests.

"What?"

"Come on, Ned, you live near the conference hall."

"I do?" Ned asks in bewilderment.

"Yes." Cookie patiently explains. "Please?"

"As long as you do your own laundry" Ned replies. "Seeing as I'm watching your pride and joy on short notice for two weeks of my life"

"I'm sorry" Cookie says. "Johanna says she'll watch her until you can get there, but only until you get there"

Ned grimaces at the thought of leaving his goddaughter with the creature he calls his biological sibling. "Is that supposed to inspire me to pack faster."

"Not really" Cookie pauses. "Okay, maybe a little"

"Love you too, Cookie" Ned sarcastically retorts as he snaps the phone shut.

Ned stares at the phone resting in his palm and then slips it into his pocket. "Oh man" He walks over to the closet and picks some things off the floor of the closet. Then he quickly zips around the room snatching things off of the floor, stuffing them into his usual blue carry on bag. _**If I forget anything**_, he reasons, _**I can always buy it there. Its not like California is deprived of the essentials. **_

He walks over to his laptop, prints out the confirmation number, shuts down the notebook, and puts it in the bag. Briefly, he thinks about taking it with him, but he decides against it and leaves the bag on the desk chair. Ned grabs his keys and locks up, leaving a spare key with the half-asleep superintendent as he scampers out the door.

Suddenly he realizes something. He dials Cookie's number. "Cookie" He asks calmly as he tries to shift his bag onto the other shoulder.

"What now?" Cookie jokes. "Haven't I helped you enough?"

Ned frantically tries to hail a cab, his duffel smacking against his leg. "How am I supposed to get around, should I rent a car?"

"No..." Cookie distractedly mutters. "Just ask..." His voice falters off slightly.

"That wouldn't work" Ned coldly says, his mind filling in the blank.

"Just take a cab to the house" Cookie fumbles for his extra car keys. "I'll leave them on the key rack by the door."

"Fine." Ned orders the driver. "JFK"

"Got it" says the cabbie.

"Sorry for the trouble" Ned says to Cookie. "But you have to admit, its short notice"

"Eh, it's Lisa's fault" Cookie explains. "She says it was my fault to find a person to watch Lisette"

"It's not a big issue" Ned says goodbye and hangs up. He sighs and collapses against the back of the seat.

"Rough night?" The cabbie asks conversationally.

"No" Ned answers. "But I get the feeling that it's going to be a long tomorrow."

Ned arrives at the airport in a haze. He tumbles out of the cab with a thump after paying the cabdriver.

"Yo, if you got hurt, it ain't my fault" The cabbie barks.

"Yeah, I know" Ned speeds away from the car and into the surprisingly uncrowded airport. He stands in front of the check in desk, where a blond haired clerk is flipping through a Vogue and trying valiantly to stay awake.

"Hey" Ned taps his knuckles on the counter.

The clerk glances up. "When and where are you going?"

"West coast, 4:30"

"Making a quick escape?"

"No, not at all" Ned dimly replies. _**Why is everyone saying that lately? **_"A friend called in a favor"

"Well, I hope it's worth it" She punctuates this with a yawn.

"So do I" Ned collects his boarding pass and heads off.

After he gets on the plane, he looks through his wallet until he finds a picture of his goddaughter, Lisette Annabel Zemo-Cook. An incredibly pompous, stuck up name that had been imposed by Cookie and Lisa's parents. Hence why anyone that knew her called her Lissy. The picture is not all a true reflection of the girl. The girl in the picture looks calm and innocent in a frilly pink gown, yet Ned knows her as a wild tomboy. Lissy's curly hair is neatly in two poofy ponytails, yet Ned has never seen her hair tied up like that. Lissy's pale skin, usually covered in mud, is actually clean.

He smiles slightly then realizes with a guilty pang that he hasn't seen her since she was about 1. Idly, he flips through the his wallet, looking through old receipts and other pieces of junk. Then he comes to a picture. Suddenly, he snaps it shut and sighs. Then he can feel his eyes drooping and sleep taking him away.

"Flight 260 unloading passengers now" says the voice that jars Ned from his restful slumber. He hops up in a few seconds and snatches his bag. The plane had a slight delay, according to his watch, so it is later than he thought it would be. He runs in the street, waving his arms madly . Finally, a taxi rolls up with a driver who looks oddly familiar.

"Can you take me to 212 Montgomery Lane?" Ned asks as he slides into the cushy yet worn backseat.

"Yep" The driver nods.

"Hey, you look familiar to me" Ned murmurs.

"You ever been to Manhattan?"

"Yeah, I live there"

"Lucky for you. I've never been there" The cab driver says in response.

"Oh" Ned deflates slightly. "Because you look just like my favorite cab driver"

"Ah. If you were wondering, it was your accent that gave you away" The driver nods. "You're here"

"Yep" Ned passes the money to him and steps out into the darkness. The sidewalk in front of Cookie's house seems to glow. After standing in front of the light less home for a few heartbeats, he stands at the door and lightly taps on the door. _**I remember the days when I could just walk in here and not have to knock. **_

There is no sound for a while, so Ned considers knocking again. But he knows how his older sister gets annoyed when he knocks too much, claiming "I was almost there, when you knocked AGAIN!"

"Hold on, Hold on" A voice travels down to the door. Then there's a thump, a crash and a muttered swear word.

_**Funny, I don't remember Jo's voice sounding like...**_

The door swings open to reveal a woman standing in the door, wearing sweats and clearly just woken up from sleep.

"What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same" Ned says with a slight hitch in his voice.

Yeah, it is sort of short, but this is really more of a beginning than anything else. In fact, this is going to be long, just taking a glance at it or so... PLEASE REVIEW!


	2. Coffee and Cookies

Disclaimer: I own NOTHING...But damn it all, I really would like to.

Author's Notes: For some reason, the reviews haven't been coming as quickly as they used to. Hopefully I haven't lost my audience. **Grabs audience.** I remember a time when I used to get 10+ reviews in 3 days. I'll post this chapter for now, but I'm going to hold out for 10 next time.

Anyway, here's more of that.

_From the Notebook of Ned Bigby_

_Home is where the heart is. Thats what the ancient and tired old adage says, right? Problem is, I don't actually know if I have a heart anymore. And if it did happen to be found by some miracle of modern medicine that I do...I'm not sure where it would lie, exactly . In New York, my place of residence currently?, or California, the place where I lived for twenty four years prior to that move?_

"I feel bad leaving her" Lisa's neatly painted nails drum on the scratchy arm rest between her and her husband.

"Don't worry" Cookie stretches his arms up in his airplane seat and yawns loudly "Ned is fully capable of taking care of her"

Lisa does not react to this, but then responds "Don't you mean Jennifer?" Lisa idly says as she flips through a magazine. "It was **my** job to find someone"

"No." argues Cookie. "You told me I had to. Naturally, though I forgot until the last minute. Luckily, Ned agreed and flew out."

"Oh.. okay" Lisa sighs. Then she sits up, recognition flashing in her eyes. "That's not good..."

"Damn." Cookie says as he meets Lisa's panicked expression.

-db-

"What are you doing here?" Ned asks quietly.

"What are **you** doing here?" Moze says back, wearing an expression that Ned is sure is mirrored on his own face. She blinks rapidly, as if the image of Ned standing on Cookie's doorstep will vanish if she blinks enough.

"I'm here to take care of Lissy for 2 weeks...while Cookie and Lisa go to New York."

"Yeah, I took over from your sister" Moze yawns. "She was pretty irritated that she had to get up and watch her until I could get there"

"What's the big deal? Jo lives** two **houses away" Ned mocks.

"Ned" Moze chokes out his name with a slight air of contempt. "Your sister has the right to be grouchy at being called to watch a kid that's not related to her in the slightest, not even a god child. Hell, she barely knows Cookie and Lisa except through you."

"How is she?"

"Who, Johanna?"

"No, Lissy"

"She's fantastic" Moze steps aside slightly.

" 'D you...want to go home now that I'm here?" Ned awkwardly shimmies past her, careful to make as little contact as possible. He tosses his bag on the floor with a thump.

"I'd rather not" Moze says. "I think Lissy would be better off if I was here too."

"Are you implying that I'm irresponsible?" Ned grunts a little.

"...It's not that..." Moze shrugs somewhat helplessly. "It can't hurt..."

_**Sure it can't **_Ned thinks. _**Maybe. **_

As he walks down the hallway, he hears a floorboard creak, and a slight squealing sound. "Was that you...?" Moze says so softly that he can't be sure that she even said it. A door scrapes, and Moze grabs his arm.

"No.." Ned manages to stammer out. He isn't too focused on the odd sounds though. Ned picks up a faint smell of flowers in the air. _**Mmm, what is that smell?**_

__Suddenly, a pink pajama clad blur whizzes out of the room into the darkness and latches itself onto Ned's leg. Moze lets go of Ned's arm, the heat still lingering on his arm.

"Unca Ned Unca Ned! I didn't know you were going to be here tooooo" Lissy says all in one breath.

"Neither did I" Ned hugs Lissy and breathes in the fruity soap and shampoo smell that his godchild has.

"So what-'re we going to do? Huh?" Lissy hops up and down.

"Sleep for now" Ned yawns in reply.

"Sleep?" Lissy's face folds into a frown.

"Liss, he just got off a flight from New York" Moze takes the small girl's hand and leads her to her room. Ned watches her scoop up Lissy and tuck her into bed. His heart breaks slightly at the sight.

_"Look at her, Ned..." _

_ "Isn't she beautiful?"_

_ "Maybe someday..."_

Ned shakes his head slightly to rid himself of that flashback that flooded into his brain for a few moments. "Bluh Bluh Bluh" He says as he shakes his head again.

Moze walks out of her room and shuts the door with a click. She wears a satisfied smile on her face. "She went to sleep only after I promised her that you would make chocolate chip cookies with her tomorrow morning"

"That's fine" Ned says as Moze starts to walk away. "How have you been?" His hand brushes hers slightly and she stops suddenly.

There is a few heartbeats of silence.

"Want a cup of coffee?" She finally says.

-db-

Steam circles swirl in the darkness of the late night. Ned stares into the cream colored beverage and swishes it in the mug a bit. The liquid threatens to leap over the rim and burn him on the hand but it never does.

__"When did you start drinking coffee?" Moze asks. Ned's gaze flickers to her face and then down to the table again. _**When did we become strangers?**_

__"I don't" Ned slurps slightly at the drink and then swills it back into the cup. "And I don't think I ever really will"

She smiles faintly, and for a second, it's like they're back in the old apartment, up late, just talking. A memory of how Moze used to put her feet on his lap flickers briefly through his mind.

"That's why there's Hot Chocolate in mine:" Moze answers.

They sit in the quiet room simply absorbing the other person's sudden reappearance in their lives.

_**Whoever gets up first loses **_Ned thinks to himself. _**That person will be the weaker one. The one that can't take the pressure. **_In spite of his wish not to show any outward signs of exhaustion, he yawns.

"Tired?" Moze says with a knowing glance.

"Always" Ned half-complains. "It's the life of an artist"

"Well, your life is about being a godfather now" Moze motions to the hallway that leads to the guest rooms. "You're in the second room. Sorry, but I called dibs on the blue one."

" 's fine" Ned mumbles. He drags his bag on the ground with a scraping sound with the occasional thump. _**Should I shower? **_The need for sleep overwhelms him, and he merely flops onto the bed and falls asleep, snoring slightly.

-db-

"Liss, there won't be any chocolate chips left to put into the batter if you keep eating them." Ned scolds her teasingly.

"I didn't take" Lissy says in a garbled, chocolate impaired voice. "Any"

"Sure" Ned takes the bag away from her and pours it into the batter mixture.

"Unc'a Ned?" Lissy leans her face on the palm of her hand, squishing her cheek a little as she stares at Ned. Ned stirs the batter so that the chips are pretty much evenly distributed.

"What?" Ned gets spoons for her and him. He scoops up a large clump of the cookie mix and plops it on the cookie sheet. Cookie's homemade oven alert beeps to alert him that the oven is at prime baking temperature.

"How come you're not married?" Lissy flings a wad of dough at the pan.

"Because" Ned replies with a hint of of nervousness that goes unnoticed by Lissy.

"How come you don't have any kids, either?"

"For the same reason I'm not married" Ned says as he places another cookie on the sheet. "Because"

"Because if you were married, you could have kids and I would have someone to play with." Lissy finished one tray of slightly lopsided cookies and hands it to Ned, who then places it into the oven with care.

"Why don't you tell this to your mom and dad?" Ned remarks as he gets another tray. _**I can imagine Lisa's shocked reaction to that... "Ned Bigby, What are you telling my child!"**_

__"True"

There is a pause in the conversation as Ned finishes the pan he was working on and puts that too in the oven.

"I _was _married" Ned says suddenly.

"I don't remember _that" _Lissy states suspiciously.

"We were only married a year after you were born" Ned says. "Logically, you wouldn't remember, because you were too busy being a baby fart machine"

Lissy giggles. "Ewww" She starts tracing shapes in the flour on the table. Bubble shapes appear in the dusty table.

"You don't have any kids, do you?" Lissy asks. "While you're still telling me stuff?"

"Not that I know of" Ned smirks. _**Unless...Nah...**_

__There is a pause.

"You should marry Auntie Jennifer" Lissy says absently.

Ned freezes in his tracks. "Why...do you say that?"

Lissy opens her mouth to speak, but her eyes drift to something just over Ned's shoulder.

"Auntie Jennifer!" Lissy points a powdered finger at the oven. "The cookies are baking"

"Who knew?" Moze raises an eyebrow as she leans against the door frame. "Never knew that Ned could cook** anything **edible"

"Hey, I am a master of the culinary art of baking chocolate chip cookies"

"Yeah, sure" Moze snorts. "What else is going on here? I heard you guys talking. Are you conspiring against me?"

"What does that mean?" Lissy scrunches her face up in confusion.

"We are not plotting against you" Ned reassures Moze.

"You and Unc'a Ned should get married" Lissy's face brightens as she remembers what she was saying before. She says this without a hint of sarcasm.

Moze's face turns dark red, as if a tomato was thrown at her face. "Interesting" She manages to stammer out. She flashes an accusing look at Ned, as if to suggest that its all his fault.

Ned meets her gaze and shrugs slightly. They stare at each other, and Lissy continues to draw circles in the powder.

_**Ugh, if Cookie set this up on purpose, he's going to pay. What did he tell Lissy for the sole purpose of making me suffer?**_

__Then, as if speaking of the devil, Cookie's voice booms out of no where, making Ned and Moze awaken from being lost in their thoughts. Moze visibly flinches.

"Daddy designed this" Lisa pokes at the timer proudly with a wide grin stretched across her face.

"Yeah, I figured" Ned gives Moze a wry glance. "Cookie is quite distinct"

After the cookies are done cooking, Lissy loses interest in them and wanders off to go play in her playhouse. Ned watches her play as he eats a few of the oddly-shaped cookies. _**I wonder what she thinks of me? **_Then he glances at the cookie he's eating. _**This cookie looks like a butt. **_

__He breathes deeply, inhaling the sweet smell of June. He had missed this, whether he wanted to recognize that or not.

_**READ AND REVIEW!!**_


	3. Make a Memory

Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Ned's.

Author's Notes: Well, I am super super sorry that I haven't updated in a really really long time. I've been really busy with finals and papers and the like. Sorry. Well, as a treat,this chapter is pretty long. When I was working on this chapter, I heard the song "You wanna make a memory" by Bon Jovi (not my musical taste, my mom's) But funnily enough, I think it kinda fits with this chapter. So if you want a little glimpse into what I was thinking about when I wrote this...

_From the Notebook of Ned Bigby_

_Last year, when I was doing a book tour , my publisher scheduled a press conference. A nosy reporter by the name of Marcy Tremaine was there. Marcy, with a hair flip and a chemically brightened smile asked"Mr. Bigby...Ned" She fluttered her mascara laden eyes at me. "Ned, why don't you write a book about love?" With a sultry smile and a seductive tone, she added "Everyone needs advice on love"_

_I nervously gripped the microphone , the sweat on my hands making it slick. "Well, I'm probably the worst person to give advice on love" I said with a sigh. _

_I wonder if she heard that?I wonder what she thought?_

"I guess it's not a good day to bring her to the park, huh?" Moze stands at the window, watching the rain pour in sheetsfrom the sky. She pulls the flowered curtains back so the windows are covered and she turns back to Ned.

"Yup" Ned sighs and slumps back into Cookie's over sized recliner in the living room.

"Ah, well the best laid plans often go awry" Moze flops on the sofa across the room.

"Only problem is..." Ned sighs as he taps a button on the high-tech recliner, causing a massager hidden in the back of the chair to come alive. "Wow, this is an awesome chair"

Moze gives him a befuddled look. "What?"

"Now we have to keep Lissy entertained. Indoors" Ned glances at his watch. "By my calculations, she'll be up in..."

"Two seconds" Moze follows the speeding flannel-clad ball known as Lisette. "Any other observations, Mr Bigby?"

"Actually, I saw her door opening slowly" Ned replies as he looks at the clinging child.

"Guess what?" Lissy bounces slightly.

"What?" Ned leans forward slightly in his chair.

"I'm hungry" Lissy grumbles.

"Eggs okay?" Moze gets up and starts to walk over to the kitchen on the other side of the house.

"I don't know, do I like eggs?" Lissy gets a perplexed look on her face. They arrive in the kitchen in a few seconds, and Lissy tries to hoist herself onto one of the kitchen chairs. She falters a little, but luckily Ned picks her up and places her into the chair. She swings her legs back and forth and stares at the floor.

Moze yawns mightily. "I don't know, sweetie"

"Mommy would know" Lissy pouts.

"Yes, Mommy would. But Mommy's not here right now." Moze picks up the kitchen phone and tosses it at Ned. "Call Lisa and ask her if Lissy likes eggs"

Ned wisely nods and takes the phone out of her hand. Ned's fingers tap out the number written on the message center next to him.

"Hey...Lisa"

"Ned...Hey." Lisa picks up after only one ring. "Is there.. Is there a problem..?" She fiddles with the hem of her skirt.

"Well, I..Lissy.. has a problem" Ned says as serenely as possible. _**Well, I do too..YOU LEFT ME HERE WITH MOZE! But that's not a problem...none at all. **_He scrunches up his face a little.

"OH NO!" Lisa screeches so loud, that across the restaurant table, Cookie flinches.

"What! What!" Cookie stretches over the table trying to take the cell phone away from her.

"Does she like eggs?" Ned holds the phone a few inches away from his head. He can hear them fighting over phone dominance.

"Oh, just that?" Lisa takes a deep breath and tries to calm down. "She does, but only if they're scrambled"

Moze looks at him questionably. "So? Is it a yes or no?"

"Yes, but only if they're scrambled." Ned puts the phone back up to his ear. "Hey, thanks..." Before they can say anything, he presses the end button and hangs up.

"Well, that's good, because that's the only kind I know how to..." Moze turns back from the refrigerator with the egg carton to look at Lissy, who has fallen asleep on the table.

"Should we...wake her up?"Ned tentatively asks.

"Wait until I'm done cooking" Moze cracks three eggs and whips them in a bowl with a fork. Then she picks up a carton of milk off the counter and splashes a bit of it in.

"Am I allowed to have one?" Ned stands behind her and looks at the pan. Moze picks up the bowl and pours it slowly into the sizzling hot pan. As she does that, Ned unconsciously puts his hand on the small of her back.

She does not stiffen, or move away. She turns around so that her back is to the stove and Moze is facing him. They stand there for a space in time, unmeasurable. They are so close that Ned can feel her breath mingling with his.

"I smell something funny" Lissy yawns and covers her mouth.

"That's just..Uncle Ned" Moze says, suddenly turning around and stirring the eggs around in the pan. "He needs to remember to shower more than once a year"

"Really? Eww, thats gross Un'ca Ned!" Lissy holds her nose.

"I'll eat the burned part." Ned whispers in her ear so that Lissy won't know.

Moze twitches for a moment, like she too, is having a tingle go up her spine.

"Thanks" She finally answers

"What are you whispering about!" Lissy gets a Dora The Explorer plate and fork from the the dishwasher.

"Food's ready" Moze dodges the question. She scoops a little up with the spatula and puts it on the plate.

The kitchen is silent as everyone chews and digests their breakfast, each engrossed in their own thoughts. Lissy, _**Do I really like eggs?**_ Moze; _**Was that tingle a normal reaction?**_. And.._**I should never have taken the burned part. **_Ned gags a little.

-db-

"I'm bored" Lissy says in a slightly nasal whine.

"What do you want to do?" Ned lies back in the recliner he was sitting in before.

"I don't know"

"Well, I don't know, then" Ned replies as he sighs.

"Liss, how about we read a story." Moze offers. "Go and get a book from your room and I'll read to you?"

Lissy skips away.

"Guess you've got this mothering thing down pat" Ned dryly says. "I need to ignore Lissy and go bald, and I can get the fathering thing down pat"

As quickly as it had began, the moment of peace between them ended.

Even before Moze has any reaction to him, Ned's only thought is..._**Oh shit...**_

At that moment, Lissy bounds in with a well worn Dr. Seuss book.

"Okay, come over here" Moze pats her lap as she starts to lower herself onto the couch.

"I'na read" Lissy cracks open the book.

"Okay" Moze smiles and lets Lissy slowly and and clumsily stumble over the words.

But it still sounds perfect.

After a few moments, Ned walks over from the armchair and sits next to Lissy on her other side.

_**Like a happy family. **_The thought flickers through his mind.

-db-

It's late at night. Ned blearily notes as he wakes up suddenly. _**Maybe I can get a glass of water and everything will be okay. I can sleep. **_He lies there for a few moments, then gets up. Some part of his body pops. _**Ugh, I am getting so old. **_

__On his way down to the kitchen, he sees a glow spilling out of Cookie's office. Intrigued, He twists the door knob, careful not to let it squeak like he used to. To his surprise, it doesn't _**Guess this must have been fixed. **_

The room, which is painted a muted light green color, has mahogany furniture. Clearly, it wasn't designed by Cookie, because of the absence of blinking lights. The bookshelves are stuffed with tomes ranging from technology manuals to detective novels. There is a copy of every book Ned has written so far, which he notes with a slight grin. The source of light comes from a floor lamp near the desk. There is a figure curled up in the swivel leather chair pushing it slightly with its foot. The figure has brown hair, and Ned assumes, brown eyes.

"Hello again" Moze says.

"What'cha doing?" Ned sits on top of Cookie's desk.

"Looking at Cookie's photos" Moze lifts a wine glass that is dangerously close to being knocked over and moves it closer. She lifts the flask of dark liquid to her lips and sips slowly.

"I don't even remember some of this stuff" Ned squints as he tries to look at the pictures upside down.

"Look at this!" Remember when we were Juniors in college and you had that really shaggy mop like hair?" Moze points to a picture in the heavy brown scrapbook.

"That wasn't a hairstyle by choice. I literally didn't have enough money to even tip the beauticians in the school next door."

"Huh. And all this time, I thought that you were rebelling against the whole short hair thing" Moze smiles sleepily at him. She drinks another little bit carefully, then stretches out her muscles like a cat.

"I was saving for something a bit more expensive than a haircut." The implication in the sentence remains unsaid.

A silence settles over the pair. Moze slides open Cookie's bottom right drawer and takes out another glass. She hands it to him without saying a word.

"Isn't Cookie going to get angry that we're drinking all of his wine?" Ned says faintly after a few sips.

"Cookie..." Moze says after she pours herself a little more. "Gave this to me...us...for Christmas 3 or so years ago."

Ned ignores the hesitation in her voice as she had said "Us"

She starts to giggle a little, sweetly. "I think I'm a little bit tipsy." She whispers to him like a secret between children.

"I think I am too" Ned responds as he swallows a little more.

_**Moze is leaning forward**_. Ned realizes in his slightly impaired state. _**Was she doing that before? If she was, would I have noticed?**_

"Oh..." Ned starts chuckling. It sounds loud to him, but he is actually nearly impossible to hear.

"What?"

"We are drunk, Mozey."

"Yeah. Little Bit"

"We have to stop" Ned takes a little more out of his cup.

"Yeah. I know." She traces the rim of her cup with the tip of her finger.

Moze's face is even closer to him now.

"Hey" Ned lays a hand on her cheek. His hand feels cool against her hot cheeks. Her eyes are closed.

"Ned" She opens her eyes slowly.

"Moze"

Like something out of a romantic comedy, They are close together, almost about to kiss. Ned can smell the wine on her breath, can count every fleck of color in her eyes. The two of them are frozen there. In that place. Her lips brush his, slight, almost nonexistent in terms of other kisses. But it means everything. With it, a sudden memory floods his brain.

_**"Hey, sleepyhead" **_

_**"I wasn't sleeping" **_

_**"Sure you weren't" **_

They both pull back at the same time.

Moze's cell phone starts buzzing slightly on the table. She stares at it for a few moments. Then she picks up the phone and walks out.

_**Somehow that's how it always is **_Ned hazily notes to himself_**. She's always leaving me. **_

Then he walks to the other side of the room, and leaves through the other door.


	4. Birthday

Disclaimer: I do not own Ned's Declassified.

Author's Notes: Summer is here, my pretties... That means more frequent updates. As soon as I'm done with this avalanche of work I have to do. Stupid honors class requires summer work. Grr.

Also, has anyone heard about the Ned's Declassified High School show that Devon Werkheiser has signed up for if Nick green lights it? Uber SQUEEEEE

_From the Notebook of Ned Bigby_

_I have enjoyed most of my time living in New York. The people, the culture, the smell of hot pretzels coming through my window, the museums...Did I mention the pretzels? But if someone came up to me and asked me to redo a time period... it wouldn't be the time with Moze, like everyone (meaning Cookie, Lisa...nobody else really matters) around me is so quick to guess. That was...a really good time. Really difficult, I will say. But still good. _

_It would be the time recently... with Gem..Hands down. No ifs-ands-or buts about it. _

The next two days passed in silence. Not Lissy's, that was for sure. In the past 5 days, Ned felt like he knew everything about her, down to the names, ages and birthdays of her stuffed animals. (The platypus, it seemed, was named George and was 2.)

"Now George, because it is your birf-day, you get a slice of cake" Lissy pretends that the plastic cake in front of her has been sliced with her plastic knife. She hands the empty plate to George and smiles.

"Unc'a Ned, do you want a biiig slice or a little slice?" Lissy raises the pink knife and mimes slicing the cake.

"Big" Ned stretches out his legs, and his knees pop.

At the sound of that, Lissy giggles. "You're getting old, Unc'a Ned"

"I'm not old" Ned says defensively. "These tiny chairs are too small!" The aforementioned chair is, like most of the things in Lissy's room, tiny and pink. It surprises Ned that it can take his weight, but a quick phone call to Lisa confirmed that the chairs can hold up to 200 pounds. Ned looks to the left and looks to the right. The pink walls with purple accents make him think of cotton candy for no apparent reason.

"You're old" Lissy scrunches up her tiny nose as she hands him a pink and purple flowered plate.

"I'm 27" Ned says aloud.

"So is Daddy" Lissy pours more "tea" (really a fruit juice provided by Moze). "Or maybe he's twenty-nate"

"Eight" Ned corrects. "And he is."

"Aren't you and Daddy the same age?" Lissy stops playing "George's Birthday" to stare at Ned with her round face propped on her hands.

"We will be" Ned sighs and leans forward so his elbows are on the table supporting his weight. "My birthday is in two days"

"Oh!!" Lissy gets up from her seat and starts chattering to herself about a party for Ned, which seemed to involve pink, ponies and rainbows.

_**What I really want... **_Ned thinks to himself._** Is for Moze to start talking to me again. **_He had thought it was bad before, with the awkwardness hanging in the air like fog, but it was even worse now. Their lip brush (Ned couldn't count that as a kiss considering their past history) had destroyed any chance of a truce. Moze only spoke to him when she absolutely had to: usually in the form of an order. Still, though, there was a possibility..

"Okay? Un'ca Ned?"

"Yeah, sure, Liss" Ned nods as he comes out of his internal fog.

"Yaaaayyy!" Lissy skips out of the room, all thoughts of George's birthday forgotten. "Auntie Jennifer! Auntie Jennifer?"

Ned follows her out of her room down the long hallway to the family room, where Moze is curled up on the couch.

"Yeah, sweetie?" Moze lifts her off the floor and sits her down on the couch.

"Unc'a Ned's bif-day is coming up" Lissy says smugly, as if she is the only one privy to this information. As if Moze doesn't know, like she hasn't known Ned for all of her 27 years.

"Mhmm" Moze absently takes the pink satiny scrunchy out of Lissy's curly hair and smooths them flat into a ponytail.

"I'm planning him a party" Lissy squirms a little bit, causing Moze to sigh and try to smooth it back again, finally succeeding.

"Liss...it's a nice thought, but "Uncle Ned" might not want any reminders that he's pushing thirty" Moze turns to Ned briefly to see his reaction.

"Maybe for you. But I'm not worried. Not like I have a ticking biological clock" Ned off handedly replies.

Moze's face gets a pinched look, and Ned instantly regrets saying that.

"Be like that" She says coolly.

"You started it" Ned answers.

Lissy remains, as usually, blissfully unaware of the anger between the two of them, plays with a thread on the couch.

"Don't pull on that, the whole couch is going to unravel" Moze captures Lissy's hand.

"Well I'm borrred!" Lissy complains.

"Can you do me a favor?" Moze says to Lissy without taking her eyes off of Ned. "Can you go to my room and...get me... my...purple socks?" She wiggles her toes. Lissy nods quickly and dashes up the stairs. "And no taking my lipstick!"

"Fine, whateverrrrr" Lissy stomps off to Moze's room. "That only happened once, you know"

Ned and Moze sit there, and Ned lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"That comment hit below the belt" Moze says in a low voice.

"I know, and I regret saying it" Ned looks up at her.

"Yeah I figured" Moze shifts closer to him. "I know I've been avoiding you, and I think..."

Then Lissy tumbles into the room with the socks in her left hand, and an item that might have been a cordless phone before Cookie started tampering with it. The black plastic thing has a large screen that is carefully held on with duct tape.

"What're you doing with that phone, Lissy?" Moze asks as she takes the socks from the small girl's hand.

"Calling someone" Lissy flounces off to her room.

Moze and Ned exchange a confused look, then sit back. "What's the worst that can happen?" Ned throws up his hands. "Like she's going to be scheduling a hot date."

Lissy's hand moves slowly over the bulky number pad as she sits on her puffy pink princess chair. When she gets to the number she's looking for, she presses a large red button and waits for a ring.

"Hello?" asks the voice on the end of the phone.

"Auntie Jo?" Lissy holds the phone to the side of her head with both of her hands.

"Lisette, sweetheart, is there a problem?" Johanna, at her home a few houses down, wears a concerned look.

"Un'ca Ned is here" Lissy says. "His birf-day is in two days, and.."

"My brother is here?" Johanna's forehead knits as she interrupts Lissy. "Why didn't he tell me?"

"I dunno" Lissy shifts the phone to her other ear and opens her mouth to speak. "His birf-day..."

"Oh that's right.." Jo gets a piece of scrap paper off her desk and begins writing something down. "Brother dear is going to be turning 28. Thanks for reminding me. Perfect opportunity to actually see him..."

"But..." Lissy begins.

"Thanks again, love" Jo places the phone in the cradle.

"I wanted to do it" Lissy softly remarks to the person that is not on the line. With her errand finished, she walks down the stairs again to where Ned and Moze are still sitting. She toddles in front of Moze and leans on her legs. She stretches her arm up and hands the phone to Moze.

Moze, with a few button pushes, manages to use Cookie's super phone to figure out who Lissy had called.

" You're not going to be happy to hear this.."

"I hate it when you say that" Ned sighs and leans back in the chair.

-db-

"Why am I here again?" Ned grumbles as he stands in his older sister's backyard. He's by the pool with a fruity drink concoction in his hand. He stares at the cyan colored pool water and imagines tossing the glass in there, creating ripples in the water.

"Because Jo would make your life hell if you didn't come" Moze points out as she delicately sips at the abnormally pink drink in her hand. She lowers the glass to below eye level and squints at it suspiciously. "What do you suppose is in these things?" The bikini she's sporting matches the drink, oddly enough

"I don't know" Ned swishes the liquid a little to distract him. "Scary" _**Don't look at her. She'll think you're ogling her. **_

"I'm feeling old" Moze leans her head on his shoulder. Lissy whizzes in front of them in a pink bathing suit after Amanda, the daughter of the formerly named Claire Sawyer.

"Slow down!" Amanda's mother yells after the two of them. She looks at the pair of them and smiles as she keeps an eye on the girls.

"Because we're the oldest ones?" Ned manages to force out as he becomes suddenly aware of the fact that she is touching him. _**I guess hormones are making her forget the awkwardness. **_

__"Yeah..." Moze looks at the children playing in the shallow end, all belonging to their friends.

"...I wish that..." Ned begins, but then his sister's husband shows and claps him on the arm.

"Neddy-boy!" Aaron taps his shoulder. "You lucky dog, you! I haven't seen you in what seems like forever. In person, anyway. You're everywhere!"

_**I hate being called Neddy-boy, especially by someone that is only 5 years older than me. **_Ned forces a smile onto his face. "Yeah, it's been a while.." Ned focuses on Aaron's head, which seems to be glowing because of all the hair products that were used on his blond hair. He doesn't understand what attracts his sister, as low-maintenance as they come to a guy that styles his hair carefully.

Aaron gives Moze a sideways glance. "Where's Gem? Shouldn't she have come with you?"

_**Oh.. Shit...**_

__Moze moves a few steps further away from Ned.

" I thought you were supposed to avoid your exes" Aaron chortles. "Thats what Johanna says to me"

An lull in the conversation comes and settles over the three.

"Ned talks to me because he wants some discussion that doesn't involve Dora the Explorer" Moze says icily. She stalks over to where Claire is sitting.

"Did I say the wrong thing?" Aaron's eyes show a perplexed expression.

"Don't you always?" Ned mutters as he watches Moze sit down on a lounge chair.

Aaron glares at him for a few moments and trots over to where Johanna is. After he exchanges a few words, his sister walks over, her bug eyed sunglasses making her look bizarre.

"That's not a good color on you" Johanna eyeballs his swimming trunks. "Blue is better for you"

"Did you come over here to give me fashion tips, or are you going to chastise me for sniping at your husband"

"Aaron is an idiot sometimes" Jo sits down at a chair under an umbrella. The nearby table is stacked with drinks and chips. She takes a chip and swallows it whole.

"Side effect of being married to you?" Ned jokingly retorts. This is met with a dark look from her.

"No." Johanna sits back in the chair and gestures at him to sit across from her. Ned sits, not at ease like she is though, but on edge. "He doesn't quite understand the.. er... sensitive nature of you and Jennifer"

"What sensitive nature?" Ned sets his drink down on the table away from the other ones.

"Just.. everything you went through"

Ned doesn't know quite what to say to that. He runs his finger along the rim of the glass.

"I have to wonder though, what keeps her around" Jo says, thinking aloud. "Being around Lisette... Doesn't that cause her a fair amount of pain?"

"_You_ don't have kids, and it didn't bother you to watch Lissy for the night" Ned puts his hand up to stop Johanna before she speaks. "And I don't mean being asked for a favor kind of **bothered**."

"Well it's different" Jo glances at Aaron. "We don't want kids, so the absence.. isn't felt"

Ned's brow wrinkles. "I never thought..."

"I know you never" Jo stands up. "That's why you were born male. You're not supposed to understand this kind of stuff"

She leaves Ned sitting numbly in the chair. _**What did she mean by "keeps her around"? Is the implication what I think it is? Then again, it is coming from Jo...**_

__-db-

The red numbers on the digital clock seem to mock Ned, like they did 8 days ago, when he was summoned to this house. 2:35.

_**As of one day ago.. I am 28 years old. **_

__His ears prick up at a rumbling sound coming from the outside. A few steps to the window shows rain pouring from the sky. Then thunder and lightning. Ned moves on autopilot down the hall to Lissy's room.

He cracks the door carefully, afraid that Lissy will be terrified by the storm, scared to awaken him or Moze. Thankfully, he sees her little blanket rise and fall with every breath, as she remains as he left her, fast asleep.

_**Sweet dreams. **_

__Now that he's awake though, he can't sleep. On his way to the kitchen, he notices that Moze's door is open, but the lights are out, casting an eerie darkness on the room. Making a U-turn, Ned looks in the door.

"It's okay, I'm awake" Moze sits on the window seat that her room is lucky to have.

Ned shuffles over to where she is sitting, suddenly thinking that his feet have a mind of their own. He climbs onto the seat, across from where she sits, her feet tucked under her shorts-clad legs.

The storm outside rattles the window and lights up Moze's face briefly. Ned spots a peaceful expression on her face, as well as a glimpse of her green shirt.

"Remember when we were kids...little, before Cookie knew us... We were so fascinated by the storms that we stayed out there on my balcony all night?" Ned says so quietly it is almost impossible to hear between the two of them.

"Your mom.. was so sure we'd get electrocuted" Moze adds, not looking at him.

"Yeah..." Ned turns his head so that he can see the shadowy backyard beyond the glass pane. "She's okay.. sleeping still"

"I know" Moze nods. "I checked on her earlier."

"I didn't think she would, after eating all that cake like she did" Ned mimes eating the cake.

"I'm glad she's asleep. Would scare her, I'm sure" Moze makes eye contact with Ned. "Funny, but you weren't asleep. Have you always been an insomniac?"

"Just recently with all of this stuff to do. I don't mind Lissy, but there's other stuff...?" Ned tries to explain while gesturing, but fails, and instead shrugs his blue sleeved shoulders.

"Marcus getting on your case?" Moze refers to Ned's deadline crazed editor, who despised Ned's lazy work ethic, but had no complaints about the climbing book sales.

"Marcus's been ok recently.. I did a few mini books, you know, with a few tips, so he'll leave me alone for a bit." Ned looks at the trees sway outside. "Just other people I guess. Stuff."

Moze stretches her arm out and plays with a loose thread on Ned's pants. "Anything I would have read about from a gossip blogger?"

Ned chuckles lightly. "It's partly Jo, and I doubt she'd tell them"

"Although it is Johanna, I mean.. She's your sister, you can't take everything she says to heart"

Ned eyeballs Moze carefully. Was there something to that so-called female intuition? Did she know instinctively what Jo would say? Or did Jo tell her what she said to him?

"Don't look at me like that" Moze smiles a flicker of a smile. "I know you do stuff that pushes her buttons."

"I guess anything related to _Aaron_" Ned snarls the last word of the sentence. "I don't get why she loves him"

"How does that phrase go.. Love is blind?"

"Deaf and dumb too apparently. Every time he opens his mouth he pisses me off" Ned yawns mightily and stretches. "I better go, the body is protesting"

"Yeah..." Moze stretches as well. As Ned starts to go, she grabs his hand and squeezes it lightly. "Happy birthday, Ned"

Ned waves as a response, and goes next door. Before he falls asleep, one last thought flickers through his mind as he lays his head on the pillow. _**Guess I got what I wanted after all. **_

Ok everyone, I know you probably want to kill me now for mentioning Gem, and going "WTF WHO IS THIS!" I can't explain it all now, because it makes for odd conversation-- the characters are all somewhat familiar with the situation. But I promise everything (With Gem) will be explained in the next chapter. Except for one small bit. All will be revealed in good time. Read and Review my friends, and a new chapter will be in the works.


	5. The Rule of Three

Disclaimer: I don't own any Ned's. Whatsoever.

Author's Notes: Well everyone is so curious about who Gem is. So most of what you want to know everything about her. This might answer your questions. And if there are any left, they will be answered in good time.

_From the Notebook of Ned Bigby_

_ (Article Taped into Notebook with an X through it in black marker)_

_GEM'S ENGAGED!! By Melissa Meany_

_Gem Croix, 23, has been seen around town sporting a new gem on her left hand. The rock, pictured here, is estimated to be more carats than she can handle! Is the blue stone, (most likely from author boyfriend Ned Bigby, 27) an engagement ring? True to the socialite's style, she wouldn't tell this reporter anything, but she did wink her baby blues and say "You think what you want to think" as she tosses her (out of the bottle) blond hair. _

_Skeptics say that Croix, known for her hunger for publicity, is simply doing this to promote her latest project, a perfume line called most creatively Croix. They're probably right. Good luck to Ned.. the way this girl operates, you're going to need it.._

_April 15, New York News _

_ (Next Page) _

_Everything in my life seems to come with threes. I met Moze when we were three years old. I met Cookie when I was in the third grade. It's always been the three of us. Lisette, my goddaughter is three years old currently. I dated Gem Croix for three months before she forced me to propose to her. After a three year separation, I got back together with Moze. I've written three self help books (And three mini-books). I was married for three years. I've been divorced for three. _

_If this pattern is going to continue... It's been three years. Something is going to happen_

_This is REALLY starting to look like a diary, isn't it?_

"Goooood Morning" Ned yawns and walks into Cookie's kitchen. "Where's Lissy?" He asks after he sees that its close to 12 o'clock.

"She's planning her outfit for her play date today" Moze says in between sips of her drink. She puts down the cup and twirls a teaspoon in her hand in the cup.

One heartbeat, then two passes, then Lissy comes twirling down the stairs in a pink tutu, a metallic toy crown, filmy wings with flowers on them, and a plastic wand in her left hand.

"Auuuntie Jennifer!" She stomps her ballet slipper clad foot multiple times. "I wanna goooo"

"Where's she going?" Ned reaches into the refrigerator and grabs a yogurt after close inspection of the fridge reveals a severe lack of food. _**Wilted lettuce is not on the menu for this breakfast. Better ask Moze if we can grab some stuff later...**_

"Claire's place" Moze ignores Lissy's minor tantrum. "And since she's sleeping over, she is going over there at 3"

"Can't we send her over there now?" Ned covers his ears as he yells over Lissy's wailing. "I'm sure Claire wouldn't mind too..."

Moze just glares at him. "Lissy, honey, I can't take you until three"

"But whhhhyyyyy?"

"Because I said so" Moze sighs.

"Unc'a Ned! Auntie Jennifer is being mean to me" Lissy moans. She shuffles over to him and grabs on his leg.

"No she's not" Ned puts down his food and leads her over to the living room. "Here, watch some cartoons." He tosses the remote at her lightly, and she catches it.

"You know that Lisa doesn't want her to watch cartoons" Moze states.

"Aw, come on... A little Sponge bob never killed anyone" Ned scoops up a big blob of yogurt and shoves it in his mouth. "I watched it and I turned out just fine"

Moze just looks up at him. "Sure about that?"

"Relatively" Ned looks out into the other room, where Lissy is quietly watching TV. "It's working, though, she is keeping quiet" He scrapes the bottom of the cup looking for that ever-elusive last bit. "We need to go food shopping"

"Yeah, luckily enough, Lissy won't be around to notice..."

"Auntie Jennifer!! The show is over! What channel is Sesame Street on?"

Moze picks up her car keys from the table. "Do you think Claire..."

"... I sure hope so" Ned follows her outside. "Can I drive?"

"I guess so..."

-db-

Ned pulls the car into Claire's driveway smoothly. The door to the white house swings open, revealing the Claire dressed in a gray pantsuit and white blouse.

"Some things never change, do they." Moze murmurs under her breath. When Ned finally parks and unlocks the door, Moze hops out and unbuckles Lissy's car seat. As soon as she manages to wiggle out of her seat, Lissy shoots out of the car towards the door. Claire's eyes follow the blur with some amusement playing in her eyes.

"Being a lawyer means that you can't change out of your suit?" Moze taps Claire's shoulder and smiles with a nod"

"Yes" Claire says stiffly. Then she and Moze dissolve into laughter. "I'll try and find something that's a bit more..."

"Washable?" Ned adds into the conversation. "Might be a good idea, Lissy isn't the neatest child I can think of"

"Child? I was under the impression that the pink blur that just went past me was a fairy princess of some sort" Claire says with a raised eyebrow.

"She picked it out" Moze shrugs.

"I can tell" Claire nods. "Well, have fun trying to clean up before she gets home...and come get her at around 12 tomorrow"

"No problem" Ned gets back in the car and waves at her.

As they pull out of the driveway and down the street, Claire nods to herself. "It's only a matter of time" she states softly as she watches the car back down the driveway and into the street. Her eyes follow it until it disappears, then she heads inside to find Lissy and Amanda hitting each other with throw pillows.

"Hey, can we stop by the food store on our way home?" Ned glances at Moze. "I don't know if you noticed, but there's like.. no food in the fridge.

"I don't know about you, but I don't have any cash on me" Moze takes out her wallet for a quick check. "Unless we can stock up with 5 dollars and about 52 cents"

"Are we going by the college diet where we can live on Ramen noodles and coke?"

"We're trying not to kill Lissy with bad food, right?" Moze smirks at him. _**I want to kiss that smirk off her face. ... wait.. did I just think that?**_

"It was good enough for you when we were in college, wasn't it?" Ned accuses.

"A lot of things were good enough for me then" Moze says flatly. _**Is she referring to me... or the food? **_

"Does that include me?" Ned says aloud. Then his eyes widen in shock. _**I did NOT mean to say that. **_

"Maybe" Moze leans over and rests her head on his shoulder. "Maybe not"

Ned accidentally swerves slightly. Moze simply ignores this.

"Can we stop by my apartment so I can get my ATM card?" Moze rummages through her purse. "I didn't think I'd need it"

Ned acknowledges it with a nod of his head. He comes to a street and nearly turns, but she stops him.

"Not there" Moze says "I moved"

-db-

"Ok, this'll be quick" Moze tosses her bag on the couch with a thump.

"Yeah right" Ned waves his hand dismissively. "I know you women, you always say that" He plops down on the couch, and it makes a poofing sound. "Is this new?"

"Yeah." Moze pulls open a drawer with surprising harshness "As I recall, you took the sofa with you"

"Well, you can have Ol' Crusty back" Ned pats the new couch reverently. "I think I like this one better"

Moze rummages through the drawer furiously, tossing scraps of paper and stationery supplies out onto the green carpeting. A black stapler appears in her hand, and ends up being tossed on the floor, causing a thunking sound and a dent in the carpeting.

"Got any repressed anger you want to try to relieve?" Ned comes up behind her and places his palms on her back.

"Just stressed lately..." Moze doesn't flinch. "I just got let go" She mumbles.

"What?" Ned takes his hands away from her back.

"There's been low enrollment in Polk. Regrettably.." She puts air quotes around the last word. "They have to let me go, as the enrollment won't be rising for another 10 years"

"Oh god, that sucks" Ned rubs her back reassuringly. "How long ago did this happen?"

"Just a few days ago" Moze sighs and closes her eyes for a few moments. "I don't know what I'm going to do."

"You're telling me" Ned sighs. "I have no idea what my next book is going to be about. I'm feeling a bit burned out" _**Liar Liar, Pants on Fire**_ chants Ned's inner voice.

"Why don't you ask Gem about that?" Moze says flatly. "As your annoying brother in law pointed out"

"I don't want to talk about it" Ned's mouth twitches slightly. "And you know very well that Aaron is the last person that I would want to get advice from"

Moze visibly warms at this sign of familiarity. "He's never been that smart"

"Well, I don't know" Ned moves closer to her and brushes a hair off of Moze's cheek lightly. He lowers his voice slightly. "Sometimes the not so smart guys get the girl anyway. Case in point being you and me"

Moze doesn't say anything to that, she just punches him in the shoulder slightly. "Let's not get too touchy feely, we do have to go food shopping."

Ned pulls back the drapes. "Not unless you want to swim there" Sheets of rain come pouring down, so rapidly that the apartments across the street are obscured by the falling droplets. Water pools in every space available from the cracks in the aging curb and on top of the parking garage where the cars of the residents are parked. _**It's only a good day.. for the ducks. **_

"Maybe this is the universe telling me that I should start packing this place up?" Moze asks hypothetically. "I've had the boxes and stuff ready for the last few weeks, I've just been..."

"Distracted by the sudden parenting you've had to do?" Ned finishes.

"Yeah...No." Moze admits as her eyes flicker around the room as she walks slowly to another room. "I guess..."

Ned follows her into the room, which is devoid of anything but a desk and a small pile of boxes, some of them full, but most of them empty. "I thought you said you hadn't packed this place up yet?"

"I did. Just not a lot. It was mostly me throwing all reminders of teaching in the boxes." She sits on top of a closed one and lets out an exasperated breath. "I have to start applying around again, and move to the place that gives me the job. It's like.. gah. So much ahead of me"

"One step at a time" Ned advises. He picks up a box and motions to the door. "Should I tackle the books in the living room first? It's pretty easy."

"I guess, yeah" Moze nods. "I'll get the stuff in the linen closet, not like I'll be using that stuff any time soon"

Ned walks away and smiles. _**She's never been the house-wife type in terms of the sheets and stuff. **_

Ned places the books carefully in the box. _**Don't need her yelling at me because the bindings are wrinkled or whatever. **_When he gets to a certain book, he gasps. _**Interesting...**_ He holds the book, which feels heavy in his left hand. _**I'm surprised she kept this. **_It's not the fact that she has all of his books that shocks him. His mom has always taken it upon herself to buy copies of his books and give them to everyone he knew. And if Moze had even thought of getting rid of the books? There'd be hell to pay. But this book was special, recognizable because the cover was blue instead of the color it had been when it was released to the general public. He opens the cover and reads the inscription that he had scrawled into the front page.

_**For my Muse**_

_**Thanks for pushing me to get this done. Otherwise I'd never finish it.You know how I am, King of the Procrastinators.  
**_

_**Love N. **_

Ned smiles wistfully. This first copy had been thrilling to hold in his hand. His first published book. He tosses it in the box and continues clearing off the shelf.

-db-

It had taken the better part of about two hours, but he was finally done with the book shelves Judging by a quick look around the apartment, Moze had tackled all the things she wouldn't need before she moved. It hadn't taken long, the apartment was pretty small, and she didn't have a ton of stuff.

"Moze?" He calls her name, and hears a muffled response. He hesitates a few moments before twisting the doorknob to the one place he hadn't gone into. Her room.

The walls in the room are a relaxing light blue color, however the room isn't littered with the stuff that usually covers every available space like it usually does in girls rooms. The dresser still has a few bottles and containers on them, and the bed still has its sheets and pillows on it. But other than that, it's all packed neatly into the cardboard box shoved in the corner of the room.

"Yeah?" She wipes her head of some non existent sweat. "I'm done!"

"That was... quick" Ned listens closely to the noise outside. From what he could tell, it seemed like there was a hurricane going on outside. "Didn't take too.."

Suddenly, the mutterings of his inner voice end up doing what they want, and he reaches out and kisses her.

Much to his relief, she kisses him back.

Then suddenly there's tongue. Hands roam, and it never crosses his mind that this is his ex wife whose been giving him mixed signals.

There are no words spoken or thought when they fall back on her bed. When his shirt is swiftly removed and thrown who-knows-where. When she allows him to fumble with her bra straps.

Until he rasps out three life-changing words. "We're doing this?"

And her equally life changing response, spoken softly and yet still confidently. "Yes."

-db-

Come on, you were all waiting for this. But this isn't the end. Not by a long shot. Read and Review.


	6. Catalyst

Author's Note: I've decided to give you some insight into the creation of the story, since I can't keep repeating my apologizes every single time that I'm late.

Originally, this story was conceived that Ned and Moze had two children together and they ended up getting divorced. Their daughter, who lived with Ned, declared that she wanted to see her mom and her brother, and they flew out to go see them. I liked the concept of Ned re-meeting Moze after an amount of time, but I realized that having kids would complicate the situation, because they'd have to "step around them" (Because somehow, the story ended up being about them reacting to things the kids did rather than Ned and Moze)

I always knew that Cookie and Lisa would have a girl named Lisette, so I refocused the story on her. That way, they could have the experience of parenting without having kids.

-db-

_ From the Mind of Ned Bigby_

_Her name is Jennifer Ann Mosley, three years ago Jennifer Ann Bigby. She's 28 years old and has brown hair and brown eyes. I'm not sure about her weight, and I don't think I'll ever be brave enough to ask. I've known her practically since the day I was born. She was my first friend and my first kiss. I lost my virginity to her when we were seventeen. She's been my best friend, my girlfriend, my fiancée, my wife, almost the mother of my child. And unfortunately my ex wife. _

_And she is currently lying next to me in this bed. Freaking out. _

"Oh. My. God" Moze's hands grip the sheets in panic. "What the hell. What did.. What.."

"Meh" Ned rolls over and puts the pillow over his ears.

"YOU'RE ENGAGED!" Moze screams and tries to sit up, but Ned tries to pull the sheets over his head and he flops back. "You're engaged" She repeats softly. "I don't know her, but even that snobby... doesn't deserve this"

Ned rubs his eyes and rearranges the pillow back under his head. "I'm not engaged" He replies quietly.

"What?" Moze looks at him incredulously. "Why isn't that on the cover of People magazine?"

"She will, I have no doubt about that" Ned sits up. "Gem mailed the ring back to me with a post-it on it that said **I can't deal with this.** **If you tell the press before I do, you'll live to regret it**"

"God, what a bitch" Moze observes. "Are you.. okay?"

"I didn't love her" Ned stretches. "She just wanted the publicity"

The room goes silent except for the very faint sounds of the neighboring apartments. Neither one of them speak. They just lie there, lost in their own thoughts.

_**Hooollly Crap. **_

_**What did I do. **_

_**I wonder what she's thinking. Does she think I'm out of practice? **_

"I think..." Ned begins. "I think..

"What?"

"Don't we have to pick up Lissy from Claire's now?"

-db-

"Auntie Jennifer I had so much fuuun! Look what I made!" Lissy says so rapidly that her words blur together. She thrusts a glue and glitter soaked paper at Moze.

"It's lovely, Liss" Moze holds it gingerly in her left hand. A few drops of glue drip off the side and onto Moze's sneaker.

"Did the girls have fun?" Ned asks Claire.

"Yeah, but not as much fun as you're going to have trying to scrape that glitter off the floor before Lisa gets home" Claire's mouth twitches into a smile. She looks quizzically at Ned. "Nothing else clean? I think you were wearing that yesterday"

"I don't usually do laundry, I just spray everything with a little Febreze" Ned mimes the spraying of a bottle.

"You're wrinkled" She runs a finger over his shirt sleeve, which has a particularly deep crease.

"Not all of us have to show up in court during the week" Ned takes a quick glance at the car area, where Lissy is jumping up and down on Moze's sneakers. Moze tiredly plays along with a look of pure exhaustion. "I think I have to get going, I think that Moze can only take so much glitter. It was great to see you, if I don't see you again before I leave"

"They're coming back tomorrow, aren't they?" Claire states. "Cookie called yesterday to say goodnight to Lisette. He thought she'd be afraid to sleep in a new place."

"Time flies" Ned walks down the yard to the driveway and waves goodbye. After a few moments of struggling, Moze manages to wrangle Lissy into her car seat, and they go off down the street.

"Hmm" Claire says to herself.

-db-

"Byyye Un'ca Ned" Lissy grabs his leg and squeezes it.

"I'm not moving to Mars, Liss" Ned crouches down and hugs her. "You can call me anytime. Ask your dad sometime, I'd love to have some company in that lonely apartment once in a while"

"Daaddy?" Lissy looks up at Cookie.

"Do you hate me that much that you want to spend all your time with him?" Cookie lifts up Lissy and holds her. "Because I feel hurt!" He tickles her belly and she yelps.

"Noooo! I missed you" Lissy kisses Cookie on the cheek with a slobbery smack.

"Thanks so much for this, Ned. You have no idea how much I appreciate it" Lisa takes him aside from Liss and her father, who begin playing a rousing game of "What color is that" in the airport lobby.

"Was it..Okay? Being with Jennifer, I mean?"

"It was fine" Ned says noncommittally. _**I slept with her and now I don't know what to do. **_

"It didn't make you feel any.. sadness?" Lisa looks up at him with a genuinely concerned look.

"It was a while ago" Ned looks away up at the list of flight schedules hanging above her head. He takes one last hopeful glance over Lisa's shoulder. _**I shouldn't have expected her to come see me off. But...**_

"I guess you better get going" Lisa squeezes his hand lightly, and leads him back to where Cookie and Lissy are playing.

"See ya man" Cookie smacks his hand against Ned's and does a complicated handshake that involves hand slaps and shoulder punches. "I owe you one"

"I'll keep that in the forefront of my mind." Ned raises his eyebrows. "I might call in that favor sooner than you might think"

"Nothing too weird" Cookie calls after Ned as he walks away.

Ned just raises his thumb in response. He goes through the motions of handing his boarding pass over and the like, but he still feels like he's in a haze.

_**Hopefully, thats all the drama for now. I don't know if I can handle any more of this. **_Ned thinks as he looks out the window.

-db-

"I should have gone to see him" Moze paces in circles in her nearly empty living room. "It was rude." She sticks her knuckle in her mouth and gnaws on it a little. "I know it was awkward that last day, but still. We could beat the odds and actually be friends. Yeah. Even though I just.. ARGH!" She kicks a box on the side.

The box falls over on its side, the books inside have fallen over like toppled dominoes. Moze lets out a breath and starts to stack them up again. The last book that she places on top is "Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide" His first book.

She flips through the pages quickly, careful not to see what is written on the first page. _**Why did I keep this?**_

_**Because despite everything, you still care about him. How could you not? He's such a big part of your life. **_States the inner voice in a know-it-all snarky tone.

"I have a feeling I'm not done with Mr. Bigby just yet" Moze places it reverently on the top. "I never am, whether I want to or not"

_3 ½ Weeks Later_

"Cookie, my amigo.. my good friend" Ned wheedles on one end of the phone.

"Whatddya want" Cookie says mock-irritatedly.

"Remember that favor I needed you to do for me?"

"Yeah. I'm **not **going to dress up as Simone to be your date" Cookie smirks slightly.

"I only asked you to do that once" Ned frowns. "And it was a joke"

"I know. What do you need?" Cookie leans the phone into his shoulder as he tries to help Lissy into a clean dress.

"I need you to help me paint my apartment" Ned walks to the other side of the room and trips over the cans in the middle.

"You're an author, you can't hire people to do that kind of thing for you while you get high off the paint fumes?"

"I.. need to talk to you about something. It's kinda important" Ned rights the cans.

"Is this something that can be told over the phone? Because it's kinda a bad time to leave right now"

"Please, Cookie, you just took off two weeks for a week long conference" Ned irritatedly states.

"Okay, you got me there" Cookie lets out a triumphant noise that sounds vaguely like Huzzah. "Sorry, I just got Lissy dressed for the day"

"Yaaaaayyyy!" Lissy wiggles out of her dad's grasp and zips away down the stairs.

"It doesn't have to be tomorrow" Ned wheedles.

"Fine, fine, I can get there in a few days... probably by Friday"

"Thanks, can you call before you get to the apar..." Ned stops and hears the dial tone. "Thaaanks Cookie."

-db-

"I told you to call first!" Ned gives Cookie a sideways glance.

"Be nice, I'm clearly the only friend you have in the world" Cookie takes his bag and tosses it in like a bowling ball down the lane. He knocks over a small stack of paper piled up by the door. "Ohh Yeah!"

"I do have friends" Ned sniffs snobbishly. "It's just that my friends are the high society type that wouldn't dare dirty their designer jeans"

"By friends, you mean Gem?" Cookie closes the door behind him with a click and searches around for some newspaper and drop cloths.

"She's not my friend, she's never going to be my friend" Ned mutters darkly under his breath as he locates the newspaper and thrusts it at Cookie furiously.

"That's kinda a bad thing since you're going to be marrying her eventually" Cookie

"Can you keep a secret?"

"Dude, Did I tell Moze that we spent your bachelor party at IHOP instead of a strip bar?" Cookie holds up his index finger. "Did I tell Lisa that you let her precious baby watch Sponge Bob instead of watching Sesame Street?"

"No" Ned consigns. "Gem dumped me flat on my ass."

"What? And I didn't read this in the National Enquirer!?" Cookie raises an eyebrow.

"Funny, that's what Moze said, except she said it was People"

"You're dodging the point" Cookie rips open a drop cloth package and spreads it out over Ned's entertainment center with care. "What happened?"

"She gave me this" Ned crouches in front of the entertainment center and yanks open a drawer. He takes out a plain business sized envelope and rifles through it. Then he folds the top flap under and flings it frisbee style over to Cookie on the other side of the living room.

Cookie unfolds it and reads the note, his lips moving slightly. Then he takes out the ring and studies it. "It looked bigger in the paparazzi shots"

Ned scowls at him in response.

"Just kidding... Sheesh" Cookie goes silent and seals the envelope. "I've never met this girl.. and yet I already want to kill her."

"Yeah" Ned takes it from his hand and puts it back in the drawer. Then he takes another cover and flings it over the top.

"So this is why you had me fly across the country? Because you wanted to tell me that your fiancée dumped you flat on your butt for no reason?"

"No.. but wait, there's MORE" Ned cracks open a can of paint, pours it into a paint tray and dips a paintbrush in the blue paint.

"Does there have to be?" Cookie unwraps his paintbrush and paints a streak on the wall. "Then again..."

"What!"

"It's never just one thing with you" Cookie's eyes crinkle at the corners. "It's always drama drama drama"

"ImstillmarriedtoMoze" Ned mutters as a response.

"What?" Cookie accidentally splatters the wall with an uneven splatter.

"MozeandIarestillmarried" Ned coughs and tries to smooth out the blots on the wall.

"I don't know why you keep mumbling, I'm going to get it out of you eventually. You can't help but let it loose"

"Moze and I.. we signed the wrong papers, and we're not divorced." Ned flatly says. "That's what Gem meant when she couldn't deal with this"

"You'd think that she'd love this" Cookie thinks aloud. "This kinda dramatic thing would have everyone talking about Gem the poor wronged socialite"

"Not the point I was making, but whatever..." Ned struggles to touch up the upper corner of the wall. Cookie easily reaches over him and gets it with a splat.

"It's simple, you just actually do it right this time" Cookie eyeballs Ned. "Unless..."

"Okay, you weaseled it out of me" Ned throws up his hands frustratingly. "I would just "do it right this time" but..

"This is exactly what I mean." Cookie mimics Ned's hand motions, in the process getting blue on Ned's forehead and in his hair.

Ned closes his eyes and smiles slowly. "That's kinda funny."

"It's even funnier on this end" Cookie grins. He turns away and resumes painting the wall. Years of friendship has taught him not to push Ned any further than necessary. He will find out the whole story in good time.

-db-

_Meanwhile, in California..._

"You're late" Moze's voice crackles through the cell phone.

"I know, I promised I'd meet you and Suzie forever ago, but the sitter canceled on me, and it's such a hassle trying to get Lissy into the car seat as you very well know..." Lisa juggles the phone as she tries to parallel park in front of the coffee shop. "I'm right outside, I'll see you in a few"

After college had bonded them together, the three girls had realized that everything was about to change upon graduation, and that they would see each other even more infrequently than they had before. Suzie was the one who had discovered the small coffee place, and Lisa was the one who proposed that they meet every once in a while to discuss their lives. Lately, it had become more difficult because of Suzie's busy schedule as an agent, Lisa trying to find the last babysitter that hadn't been scared off by Lissy, and Moze having to scour southern California for a teaching job.

They usually met at least once a month, usually somewhere at the end of the month. It came to Lisa and Suzie as a great surprise when Moze called for an emergency meeting midway through July. This had only happened twice before, once when Suzie caught her boyfriend cheating on her with her older sister and was hysterical, and when Lisa's mom ended up in the hospital. So this was something big, Lisa knew.

"Maaa" Lissy wails as Lisa yanks her out of the car into the cafe.

"Here, sweetheart" Moze hears Lisa say as she enters the room. "Here's some cheerios, please sit still for a moment" She then sits down in front of Suzie and Moze, with a plastered on smile. "Hows it going, girls" Lisa picks up Lissy and sits her down next to her. Lissy, on the other hand has a big grin because of her cheerios.

"Um." Suzie gives Lissy a suspicious glance.

"Don't worry. Mommy says I can't bite"

"Okay" Suzie nods slowly. "Um, so what was this meeting for?"

"Well, I don't want to say in front of Lissy.." Moze nods at Lissy.

"It's okay" Lisa rubs her daughter's back carefully. "Missy said she'd be here with her son, and said it was ok to let them play here for a bit.."

"I'm going, ok?" Lissy tugs on her mom's pants and thrusts the bag of cereal at her.

"Okay, I can see you from here" Lisa tucks the bag into her purse and visibly calms.

"Motherhood still fantastic?" Suzie lowers the mirror she is using to check her makeup and snaps it shut.

"Always" Lisa wipes her forehead.

"What's up, Jennifer" Suzie turns her attention towards Moze, who has been watching the Lisette/Lisa exchange raptly.

"Well." Moze takes a deep breath. "Should I begin with the good news or the worse news?"

"You decide, its your news" Lisa folds her hands into a tent and holds her head up. "We're not going to push you"

"Don't say that, because then I'm never going to tell you what the problem is"

"Well then.. start at the beginning" Suzie offers.

"Lees, you know how I didn't come to the airport to see off Ned with you?" Moze starts with a tired look on her face.

"Yeah I thought that was kinda odd, because when you called me, it seemed like you had started to get things at the very least down to polite" Lisa takes a scone off her plate. The thing about these meetings was that whoever got there first always knew what to order, so oftentimes, the scone (Lisa) the muffin (Moze) or the danish (Suzie)was already there waiting. It gave you something to munch on while waiting for the coffee, which was notoriously slow.

"Well, you might not think this is a big deal or not..." Moze picks off a corner of her muffin. "But we..."

Suzie blinks at her for a second and her jaw drops open. "You slept with him, didn't you?"

"What? Don't make assumptions like that" Lisa says wide-eyed at her.

"Buuutt... I'm right. Aren't I?" Suzie smiles at her.

"How do you know that" Lisa banters back.

"Single girl's instinct. She has the magical glow of happiness" Suzie smiles perkily at Lisa.

"Single? Jake will be pretty surprised to hear that" Moze attempts to distract them from her news.

"I can't believe that you slept with your ex husband and didn't call a meeting the next day!" Lisa narrows her gaze at Moze. "This is big"

"Well, you were still in New York, and it wouldn't be fair to tell just Suzie, not that I probably could anyway"

"So is that the good news or the bad news?" Suzie drums her manicure on the faux wood table. "Because I'd label it as more like gossip, but that's just me"

"Um.. Bad news, I guess" Moze chews on her lip nervously.

"Was it really that terrible?" Lisa's eyebrows knit above her eyes.

"No, actually, it was really good" Moze cracks her knuckles.

"So are you going to tell us, or are you going to make us interrogate you, complete with a dirty room and a yellow light?" Lisa questions

"Or I could just let you keep guessing until we all get gray hairs" Moze smirks at Suzie.

"Hey" Suzie clutches the bottom of her hair. "I've been dyeing my hair, and its staying hidden"

"You don't have to tell us even though you called an emergency meeting here" Lisa starts to stand up slowly. "I mean we're your best friends"

"Fine, you want me to tell you what's going on?" Moze puts a distant look on her face. "I'm pregnant."

So. Read and review if you can get over the shock. Even if you can't get over the shock, you still should review. I did give you an extra long chapter, after all.


	7. Phone

Disclaimer: I don't own Ned's Declassified, any characters or any things hereon...

Author's Notes: Well. It looks like everyone expected Moze to reveal.. something else, most likely the discovery that they are still married. I can't make it that easy, that would be.. too predictable. Too simple. There's going to be plenty more chapters, so sit tight and watch the show.

_From the Notebook of Ned Bigby_

_Choices are a part of life. Obviously, I wouldn't have gotten to the ripe old age of 28 without learning this. Doesn't mean I have to like it. When the grouchy teenager behind the counter at the coffee place asks me whether I want foam or no foam, half caf, full caf, whatever, it just drives me crazy. But that's the small stuff. I had to choose whether to defy Gem and spoil her next chance of fame mongering or to just let it go. Even though that was a hard decision to make... it wasn't as hard as this one is going to be. _

"You have to tell her" Cookie says calmly as he talks down to Ned below him. "What if she wants to get remarried and learns this is standing in her way? She'll resent you"

"That's not going to happen any time soon" Ned sits in the center of his empty living room, legs crossed and staring at the unpainted wall before him.

"And how can you be so sure of that?" Cookie narrows his gaze at him. He reaches over to get his previously forgotten paintbrush and starts to work on the wall he had started.

"Because I..." Ned slurs the end of his sentence.

"Oh lord, there's more to this story?" Cookie impatiently states. "Ned, buddy, I love you like a brother, but for the past three years or so you've had no problems, and then all of a sudden, everything seems to be happening."

"Tell me about it" Ned rolls his eyes and flops back to stare at the ceiling. "Imagine living this"

"You started the story, so you have to finish it now"

"I slept with her when I was in California" Ned says loudly, enunciating every syllable carefully.

"Whoa" Cookie backs up slightly. His face is shocked and his eyes are wide. "What?"

"I banged my ex wife when I was in California" Ned grumpily states. "If you want me to put in teenager terms"

"Ex wife?" Cookie thoughtfully adds. "She's not your ex from what you told me"

"Whatever" Ned runs a hand through his shaggy brown mop. "How am I going to tell her? I can't even look her in the eyes right now."

"You regret it?"

"Hell no." Ned vehemently shakes his head. "God, it just made me realize how much I miss her."

"I think you always knew" Cookie imitated Doctor Phil and grasps Ned's hand. "You were just hiding it deep down"

"Something smells like insincerity" Ned smirks at him.

"I think you're going to have to tell her some time" Cookie picks up his brush again and dips it carefully in the paint. "Sooner, better than later, if you ask me"

-db-

"Ned must be over the moon!" Lisa grins widely, "He's wanted a baby almost as much as you"

Only Suzie correctly interprets the morose expression on Moze's face. "Assuming it's his baby, he knows, right?"

"Ah well, about that" Moze trails off.

"He doesn't know?" Lisa slams her palm on the table, causing the plates to rattle. Suzie lifts her cup without looking up from her blackberry, where's she's tapping a message away.

"Did I say that?" Moze states.

"No, but you just as well told us" Suzie finishes tapping the message and slips it back into her bag.

"What!" Moze throws her hands up in the air. "I have neither confirmed, nor denied whether the father of my child is aware of that fact"

"So that's a no to telling Ned" Lisa murmurs. "Up high!" She raises her right hand and smacks hands with Suzie. "Another job well done!"

"I hate you people" Moze mutters and tips her cup to take a sip of her beverage.

"No!" Lisa taps the cup and motions for her to put it down. "Caffeine isn't good for the baby"

"It's decaf tea" Moze lowers the cup down delicately. "I'm not as clueless as I look. I read all the books when we were...trying"

A silence passes over the table as they remember a collective memory.

"You're going to have to tell him" Lisa softly says. "Even if you don't love him anymore, it's still his baby"

"Or not" Suzie counteracts. "You don't have to tell him, get a job somewhere else in SoCal and move on."

"That's not right" Lisa frowns at Suzie. "That's really screwed up."

"I didn't say it was the right thing to do; I just said that telling him wasn't her only option" Suzie scratches on a baked on piece of chocolate that melted onto her organizer. "I'm fully in support of telling him, since you're probably his only chance at reproducing."

"Yeah, I don't think that girl Gem is willing to mess up her manicure, much less have kids" Lisa scoffs. She reaches into her bag and pulls out a glossy, colorful tabloid magazine. "Look at this. What does our dear boy even see in her?" She spins it over so Moze, sitting on the other side of the table can take a look at it. The picture shows the blond socialite dancing on a bar table somewhere in Manhattan.

"Fantastic highlights" Suzie says, using her agent voice. "If only she had an actual talent, I could probably get her a job, and that would keep her away from Ned long enough for you tell him."

Moze just cocks her head at her and tries to digest it. "They're not even together anymore"

"Then why does this article say.. "Gem was seen on the party circuit without her companion Ned... probably snuck out. It's past her bedtime"

"Who wrote that, Missy?" Moze asks. "She's not exactly the nicest to Gem, I notice"

"No, Missy writes for an actual newspaper" Lisa smirks. "Newspaper gossip is slightly over tabloid journalism in terms of a hierarchy."

"Anyway, after we..." Moze gestures in the air. "You know. He told me that Gem returned his ring with a post it saying that she couldn't deal with it or whatever."

Being the good friends they are, Lisa and Suzie sigh and gasp in all the right places as Moze begins to spin the complicated yarn that began as soon as Lisa made that call to her apartment.

"Sheesh, I didn't know what kind of chaos was going to arise from asking to watch my little monkey" Lisa adds when Moze completes her story with a large exhale. She leans her face against her hand.

"Monkey, that's so true" Suzie eyes Lissy with a wariness. "I don't want kids now, I think you guys messed me up."

"What?" Moze frowns. "How did I have anything to do with this?"

"You have taught me the dangers on unprotected sex" Suzie says solemnly. "And that children may arise from this"

"Didn't learn anything in health class?" Lisa snickers and smiles.

Suzie fixes Lisa with a glare. "Go get your monkey, we have work to do"

-db-

"It's just a phone" Cookie reminds Ned.

"It's not just a phone" Ned haughtily reminds Cookie. "It's the phone that's going to deliver Moze with the worst news of her life"

"Don't assume anything until you do it" Cookie snatches the cream cordless phone out of the base and holds it to Ned with a determined look on his face.

"I haven't seen that look on your face since you were trying to convince me that eating a whole jar of marshmallow fluff wouldn't make me sick"

"That's college stuff. This is actually important" Cookie pries open Ned's palm and slaps it down into it.

"Can't it wait?" Ned wheedles and rocks back and forth on his heels nervously. He picks up a pen off the table with the phone and plays with it, rolling back and forth between his thumb and pointer finger. "I'm hungry, I want pizza" His fingers fly across the buttons, except for the last number.

"No!" Cookie presses the hang up button and glares at him. "You shouldn't have the pizza guys number memorized! Moze will get you on track"

Ned looks to the floor, then looks up at Cookie. "I can't"

-db-

"Ok,** this **is a phone" Lisa says slowly. "Do you know what you do with a phone?" She holds Moze's phone, identical to the super phone that Cookie has, which is almost overtaking her hand with its enormity. Lisa waves it in Moze's face. Moze doesn't flinch, she just blinks.

"Well, it's designed by Cookie" Suzie says from her perch on the shiny black kitchen counter. "For all we know, it could open the garage door or drain the pool" She files her nails delicately after gesturing wildly.

"No..." Lisa draws out. "That's _this. _She holds up an equally bulky piece of plastic, only it's blue and shaped more like a remote.

"Why do you carry that around, when we're at my house?" Moze utters confusedly.

"It opens my car" Lisa grins.

"And I would hardly call this a house" Suzie comments. "Maybe.. a cardboard box?"

"Like it or leave" Moze teases. "And you know darn well that its better when everything I own isn't in a box"

"No comment" Suzie grins. "So, are you going to call, or should I just leave from the lack of entertainment"

"I will, I will" Moze tosses the phone lightly from hand to hand with a faraway look in her eyes.

Then the phone jumps to life by ringing. The screen glows, and for a moment, Moze's heart stops for a beat as she looks at the caller I.D.

-db-

"It's just ringing!" Ned groans.

"Sure, don't listen to your successful best friend." Cookie mocks as he rolls his eyes.

Finally, he hears the response that he's alternately afraid and waiting to hear.

"Hello?" Moze says on the other side of the line.

"Hey.. Moze.."

There is a few moments of awkward silence, then they both speak and interrupt each other

"I have something to tell you" Ned begins, but is cut off by Moze.

"Somethings happened"

"Is everything all right?" They say simultaneously. Then they laugh easily, the spell of strangeness broken. _**No matter what happens**_ Ned thinks _**We're always going to have this history that bonds her to me. **_

__"Your mom's okay?" Ned frets.

"Everything's fine, your mom and my parents are okay"

"Good, because I have something I need to talk to you about" Ned chews on his lower lip.

_**What! How could he.. possibly know that? **_Moze's left hand flies to her mouth. Her thumbnail goes in her mouth and she gnaws on her nail nervously. Some old childhood habits are hard to break.

"How did you find out I'm pregnant" Moze incredulously states as Ned reveals his secret.

"We're married still, we made a mistake before"

Moze and Ned hold the phone away from their heads. They wait a second for each other's news to sink in.

"WHAT!" They scream. "WHAAAT!"

Moze drops the phone onto her floor, where it makes a banging sound and bounces for a moment. The connection is broken. Not that Ned would notice, because he's also hung up the phone in shock.

-db-

"So what did he say?" Suzie gapes at Moze.

"I'm still.. We're still..."

"What?" Lisa reaches out for Moze and helps to settle her into a chair. "Oh god, he's pissed off?"

"I have been married to Ned Bigby for the last three years and I didn't even know it" Moze enunciates slowly.

"What?" Suzie flings herself off the counter. Her shoe skids on the tile and she slams into the refrigerator. She lies on her back, her arms splayed out.

Moze begins to tear up, but she smiles. "I can always count on you for comic relief, Suze"

"Right" Suzie tries to push herself off the ground and stands up shakily. "Is this a joke? A knee jerk reaction to the revelation that he's your baby daddy?"

"No" Moze wipes her eyes on her wrist. "But he knows now, so..."

-db-

"She's pregnant" Ned says as he stares at the wall numbly.

"Wait, I must have been huffing paint or something. Hold up, she's... pregnant?" Cookie's jaw drops open. "I thought you two idiots were safe?"

"Heat of the moment?" Ned shrugs. "Moot point now, don't you think?"

"I wouldn't have pushed you if I knew this was going to be so complicated" Cookie pauses and takes the phone off the tan couch. "A baby"

"I.." Ned begins. The phone buzzes alive.

"Sorry, I just..." Moze says as soon as he picks up. "I was kinda freaked out, I mean it's a lot to absorb"

"Are you crying?" Ned asks.

"Yeah. Hormones got me all screwed up" She sniffles. "We need to talk"

"Can you come here?" Ned says. "This isn't something I can talk about over the phone"

"I'd rather do this in person" Moze raises an eyebrow. "Mostly because my henchmen are listening to everything we're saying"

"Same here" Ned's gaze turns to Cookie's intent stare.

"I can't wait to see you" Moze smiles.

"Me neither" Ned agrees. "Me neither"

I know, I know, that was such a transition chapter. I'm not proud of it, but I think it would be better if I left this as it is, rather than jamming this and the arrival Moze in NY into one chapter. Read and Review :)


	8. New York

Disclaimer: I don't own Ned's Declassified.

Author's Notes: Here's more behind the scenes peeks. I always write chapter outlines before I begin writing the story. I make my stories either 7 or 14 chapters, that way I resist the urge to end every three page chapter on a cliffhanger. Because then you guys would want to kill me more, if that's even possible. Happy Thanksgiving and enjoy the story!!!

_From the Notebook of Ned Bigby_

_I'm not a weak person. I don't cry at the drop of a hat. I've only cried for real once in my life. Not the little snifflies you get when you skin your knee. Not when your eyes tear up when you're really worried about something. Big, bawling tears that give physical evidence of your heart breaking. No, no I didn't cry when I signed, initialed and dated the divorce papers that I believed separated me from my wife. I didn't cry when my idiot socialite fiancée left me so she could dance on bartops in Manhattan. I didn't cry when my sister got married to her idiot husband, even though I knew she was ruining her life. _

_The only time I've cried like that. Uncontrollably, until my whole body was weak was July eighth at about 5:23 pm three years or so ago. What's so significant about that date? That was the day that my wife miscarried our child. It was that time that I met her red rimmed eyes, and crumpled into a heap on the floor. I could barely breathe and just sat across from her shaking body. Our world was over. And it would never be the same again._

-db-

"Are you okay, dear?" The elderly woman sitting next to Moze on the plane affectionately lays her hand on Moze's hand.

"Yeah, I am. I'm just nervous" Moze stares straight ahead and picks a chunk of dirt out from under her thumbnail. "I'm going to meet my...husband in New York" She says after a pause.

"Ohh honey don't be nervous. I'm sure he'll be waiting to smother you in kisses when you get there" the woman picks up her knitting from her flip down tray and makes another row.

_**That's just what I'm afraid of **_Moze grimly says to herself. "We'll see if he still wants to do that when he finds out I'm pregnant" Moze says to her neighbor with a smirk. She searches the other woman's face.

"Oh. Ah. Well" Moze receives a polite smile from the woman.

Moze takes a deep breath and tries to bend over slightly to get her bag from under the seat. After a few moments of struggling, she manages to wrangle it out from where it was stuck. _**Better enjoy bending over while I still can**_. She smiles to herself faintly. Then she unzips the bag and takes out her ipod and takes a deep breath. Then she disappears into the music, trying to enjoy her peace

-db-

"Pillows on couch, guest room made up, soap in the bathroom..." Ned mumbles to himself as he walks down the hallway leading to his kitchen. When he gets to the kitchen, he turns on his heel and shuffles back down again. "Is there anything else I'm supposed to do before she gets here atttt" He glances at his watch. "2 o'clock. Which...is the time...right now" He speeds up and runs back down the hall again, this time reaching the front door of his apartment. "Craaaap!"

He runs into the street, nearly tripping over his feet as he attempts to hail a cab. "Hey! Hey!" Ned waves and flails like an idiot as he stands on the corner.

"Damn tourists" A passerby comments as he walks by. "Can't figure out how to do anything without drawing attention to themselves."

"Hey!" Ned whirls around and glares at the tourist. "My pregnant wife is on a plane coming here and if I don't get to the airport, like tomorrow, I'm going to get killed. So keep your comments to yourself unless you're going to get me a cab!"

"Sheesh!" The guy states to himself as he sees through peripheral vision Ned getting into the cab.

"Can you get me to LaGuardia" Ned gasps out as he collapses into the back seat.

"Yeah" The driver nods and grunts, then speeds off. Ned gets thrown back as the jolt hits him.

_**It's only my first day doing this and I've already screwed up. **_Ned runs a hand through his hair nervously. "I just hope that she's not too..."

-db-

"Angry. Why are you not angry with me?" Ned meets Moze's eyes.

"It was an accident? I can't hold accidents against you" Moze says in a zen like tone.

"I'm liking this attitude" Ned lifts up her suitcase and carries it in his left hand. They begin walking slowly to the exit, not speaking for several moments. After a while, his hand begins to ache, so he switches hands. Ned steps into the street and attempts to hail a cab.

"I thought you'd be better at this by now" Moze smiles as yet another empty cab zooms past him.

"I used to be good at this. Then you came here and started getting me all nervous" Ned waves his arms like they're made of spaghetti. A familiar yellow cab comes to a screeching halt in front of them.

"You want a ride?"

"Do we ever" Ned hauls the case off the sidewalk and tosses it into the newly popped trunk. "I've been trying to do this forever!"

"Tourists?" The cabdriver emphasizes the word with a toss of his head. "Its ok, you'll get into the swing of things soon"

"Why does everyone say that when I've lived in New York for the last couple of years?" Ned grumbles as he settles himself in the seat next to Moze in the back.

"On Long Island maybe?" He answers skeptically.

"No, here in the city" Ned sulks like a child and doesn't make eye contact with the driver anymore. He shifts his glance over to Moze, who is dying of laughter. "It's not that funny"

"Yeah, it kinda is" Moze grins widely. Then she touches his cheek lightly. "Don't worry so much."

Ned nods at that. Nothing is said for several blocks. Then they pass two stores that catch Ned's eyes. One is a bridal shop that in big wide letters declares "SALE". The second is an upscale baby boutique that has a 1,000 dollar carriage out front.

"What're we going to do" Ned says, somewhat to himself and somewhat to Moze.

"What are you suggesting" Moze growls. "I have wanted this baby so much and for so long, I don't care what you want, whether you want to abort it or not, I am keeping her!" She fumbles with the lock on the door of the cab and jumps out.

"Holy crap, did she do what I thought she just did!" The driver tips his sunglasses down and watches Moze pick herself off the sidewalk and start walking. To where, was anyone's guess.

"Yeah. Sure. Fine" Ned opens his wallet without looking and tosses a 50 on the seat in the front. "Stop the car and pop the trunk. I have to go after her"

"That's right, go after your woman" The driver pulls over and turns around, his eyes locked on Ned's. "If there's anything I've learned in the years I've been married to my wife, its that you should always stand by her."

"If she'll let me" Ned adds as he scrambles out of the car, snatches the luggage out of the trunk and runs after her. "STOP! STOP! STOP!"

Moze continues to march down the street, her dress blowing around her in the light summer breeze.

"Moze, please, don't do this to me. To walk away" Ned pleads after her.

This phrase makes her stop in her tracks. He catches up to her and places a hand on her shoulder, panting slightly.

"How dare you" She says slowly as she looks darkly at him. "You're the one who ran away to New York."

"I can't deny this" Ned looks at her, asking her forgiveness with his eyes. "And I'm sorry, but it's not what you think"

Moze's eyebrows knit. "I..."

"I meant about us still being married" Ned lets out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. "Not the baby. God, Moze do you think I'd say that when we tried for how many months?"

Moze looks down at her shoes then after a few seconds, at a point somewhere over his shoulder.

"I meant about you and me being married" Ned squints for a few moments, assimilating himself to his area. Then he sets off to the right, on his way to his home. Moze follows suit, slightly grudgingly because he has her suitcase still.

"Oh." She replies. "Well"

Ned doesn't press the issue, but changes the subject. "You're not showing that much" he observes.

"Really" Moze leans closer until he can feel her breath on his face. "Is that so"

"Yes" Ned manages to choke out the word.

"Well too bad" Moze reaches her hand back and slaps him so hard there's a cracking sound.

"I'm sorry" Ned struggles to shrug with the suitcase weighing on his arms. "Lately I seem to be saying all the wrong things"

" You offer advice to helpless teenagers everywhere and you can't even get your life in order" Moze takes a lock of his brown shaggy mop and twirls it in her hand.

Ned sees a bright flash of light, but not, what he suspects is the one he usually sees when he gets touched by Moze. The source of this light comes from an obnoxious photographer.

"Hey Nedsy, whose this? Just a friend?" The photographer, Mike Perro taunts, waving his professional Nikon in the air triumphantly. "Does Gem know about heeerrr"

"No comment" Ned says icily as he stomps forward down the street.

"Doesn't matter what you confirm" Mike grins. "I can spin these however I please"

"Ned?" Moze says softly, her voice suddenly fearful.

"Don't worry, we aren't that far from home anyway" Ned grumbles. "God I hate this crap, had I known this paparazzi stuff was going to come from Gem I never would given her a second glance"

"He's not dangerous is he?" Moze tosses a nervous glance back at the fuming photographer.

" 'Course not. Why do you think he's chasing after me? There must be no better celebrities to chase" Ned smirks "I mean come on, I'm a quiet writer of advice books that keeps to himself, No story in that..."

"I guess" Moze turns her face up to the bright midday summer shine. "Why is nothing as simple as it should be with you"

"Nothing in life is simple" Ned adds after a long pause.

"Which book did that come from" Moze taunts, bumping her butt with his teasingly. "The guide to school survival? The great gigantic book of life?"

"You know I've never written anything like that last one" Ned rolls his eyes as soon as he gets to the front of his red bricked building and opens the door. He holds it for Moze and waves her ahead. She sashays past him and steps into the lobby.

"It's nicer than I thought it would be" Moze takes in the gray and white lobby with the dark blue bench across from the office. "I expected.."

"Something grungier?" Ned replies. "Starving artist esque"

"Is this the little lady you dashed out of here for?" The superintendent lurches out of his dark hole of an office and focuses a beady brown eye on Moze. Rob Williams had been in charge of the building for several years after his father had given him ownership if the building for his thirtieth birthday ten years ago. He had never seen anything like it when Ned had torn out of the building.

"No, that little lady is about 24 years younger" Ned slips an arm around Moze's waist and latches his hand on her hip. Moze looks down at it and then turns her attention back up at Ned. He ignores the stare and keeps himself focused on Rob.

"That's disgusting and illegal, Ned, ugh" Rob flinches visibly.

"No, we had to babysit our niece" Moze speaks up.

"Then whose this?" Rob unconsciously fluffs his thinning reddish brown hair. "Doesn't look like the girl the society papers been linking you with"

"My wife" Ned purses his lips and frowns at the reminder of Gem.

"So that was a lie or your mistress?"

"Neither" Ned turns. "It's been a long trip, we're going to settle in, ok?"

"Bye" Rob waves after them. "I didn't know he was married" he mumbles to himself.

-db-

"Sorry about Rob, he's got nothing better to do than harass me" Ned tosses her suitcase in the entranceway to the apartment. He walks over to his guest room and starts fixing the sheets and pillows again for the

"Doesn't seem like that type of guy that has much of a life" Moze observes. Then her voice drops. "When did you start calling me your wife again?"

Ned freezes and drops the pillow. "I dunno, do you want me to stop? Is this the answer to the question that I had before?" On that last sentence his voice goes high and nervous and he picks up the pillow and flings it back on the creamish sheets.

"I was just wondering" Moze calmly states. "This woman on the plane asked me who I was going to see, and I said my husband. It just slipped out"

"Well for three years, that's how we were" Ned shrugs. "I guess it's like muscle memory or something."

"Maybe" Moze walks in the door and sits on the bed. "I'm a little tired, is it okay if I..."

"Yeah, sure" Ned leaves and shuts the door behind him with a click. Then he leans, his back against the wall and sighs. Then he slides down the floor, his head in his hands. _**What am I going to do? Can I do this? **_

__Moze, on the other side of the door watches it, seeing if he's going to come back in, bursting with another thought or an idea, like he had done sometimes when he was working late at night. It had disturbed her sleep sometimes, but it became familiar. She looks down at her belly. Nothing was really showing yet, but already she could picture it. Her mind begins racing. _**What about Ned and I? Where do we stand? What if I lose this baby? **_

__What are you thinking? Moze resists the urge to yell this to him.

On the other side of the door, Ned gets up and walks to the kitchen. _**Well, it can't get any harder than this. That wouldn't be fair...**_

And that's the end of the chapter. Read and Review. Pretty please....


	9. All that's Gem isn't good

Disclaimer: I don't own any of this. Unfortunately.

Author's Notes: I know things are getting really slowed down, but have mercy upon my soul. I have a lot of pressure with my AP classes,and I haven't been getting that many reviews.

Originally when I began characterizing Gem, I imagined her as a stupid, spoiled brat. But that's a pretty shallow place to fit, then she started to change into the woman that you see in this story.

_From the Notebook of Ned Bigby_

_I'm scared. _

_I've never been one of those types that is afraid of their own shadow. That can't sleep at night without a night light glowing in the corner. I get nervous over things like press conferences, book signings and asking women out on dates. Those add a little flip to my stomach but nothing ever like this. This being fear that I can feel in every fiber of my being. _

_I can't sleep until the glow of early morning peeps through my curtains. Sometimes I get up in the middle of the night and peek into the guest room that's now Moze's room. I know she's going to stay with me over the the fact that we're having a baby together. Regardless of love for me or not. She wants to give him/her what I never had. Two parents. _

_I know I can love him/her. And I love her. The fear comes from wondering if she can ever love me again. _

-db-

Moze was in the bathroom when she heard it. The tap-tap-tap followed by a more impatient rapping, finished with an insistent pounding "Hold on.. hold on" She mumbles as she spits up a last vomit flavored saliva into the sink. Moze shuffles over to the door, her brown hair in a lazy ponytail and her feet in fuzzy slippers.

Unaccustomed to the typical New York reaction to look through the peephole first, Moze flings it open to see the worst sight possible. The tabloid fodder party girl blond Gem Croix trots in, flicking her blond hair around and carrying a bag worth more than a country. Her heels click on the hardwood floor as Moze watches her in a mixture of shock and displeasure.

"Hi! Is Ned in here?" The blonde breezes right past Moze to sit in the kitchen where she's obviously sat before.

"NEEEEEDDD!" Moze bellows as she walks away. _**How can I compete with ****that**** when I'm just a bloated whale. I bet she's going to want to get back together with him...**_

__"What!" Ned thunders out from his room where he was supposedly sleeping, but where he is really scribbling things down in his notebook. He runs so fast that he trips and nearly careens into the swinging doors that lead to the kitchen. Ned rights himself carefully and tries to smoothly stand up.

But he doesn't see Moze the way he was imagining seeing her, in some way injured. He sees his ex-fiancée perched on his bar stool, flipping absently through the junk mail that has piled up on the kitchen table. Her sky-high stiletto heel is tapping against the metal leg of the chair and she's delicately gnawing on a piece of gum. _**What. The. Hell. **_

"Who's that?" Gem looks up at him with blue eyes. Ned is suddenly struck at how beautiful she is. He had almost forgotten in the months that it's been since he's seen her. But he reminds himself that despite her beauty, she is profoundly incompatible with him.

"Not the point. Why are you here?" Ned crosses his arms in front of his chest and takes a deep breath.

"You know how those paparazzi are. I have a few more steps left in my plan and then you'll be free." Gem takes a compact out of her purse and pats her nose. "I can't say we just amicably split and I gave you your ring back. That's **boring**!" _**I bet it would take an archaeologist to dig through the layers and layers of makeup stuck on her face. **_Ned thinks with a semi-smirk. _**Okay, now its time to make her feel guilty. **_

"Ge, you didn't give it back to me. You mailed it. Do you have any idea how much that stung?"

"..." Gem fiddles with the letter on the top of the stack as she puts the open mirror down on the table. "I know. I'm sorry."

"But that doesn't answer the question." Ned grunts and grumbles. "Why are you here sitting in my kitchen looking through my mail and annoying me?"

"According to how the paparazzi are going to interpret it, I'm going to your apartment to make one last ditch attempt to save our relationship." Gem snaps the compact shut. "I know, its so stupid. But thats how reputations are controlled"

"Hey if you wanna be famous out of this, that's cool" Ned sits down across from her and looks at him. "But I have to know, did you really care about me or was this just for the show"

"How can you even ask that" Gem lays a hand on his. _**Wow, her hands are cold. Like the inside of her soul....Oh that was mean. **_

Moze peeks around the door to see this. She lets out a small expression of sadness and walks away further into the apartment, back to her room.

Ned sits up for a moment and yanks his hand away. _**Did I see something? **_"I can ask that because I'm not sure"

"I did. But it didn't work, and clearly you've moved on... So what's the harm in making sure I have control of the situation?"

"Don't try to distract" Ned irritatedly states. "That's all I need, the headline of STAR saying that I knocked up another woman while we were still engaged because you want to control the situation and look like a victim"

"Is that what happened?" Gem smiles. "It's okay, your secret is safe with me. I just hope you love her."

"I do. I just don't know if she does"

"I think so. What's not to love about you?" Gem replies earnestly.

"I don't know, what made you stop?" Ned bitterly answers.

"You're older than me. I can't be tied down. And I... dunno. I just didn't get the fizzy feeling when I was with you"

"Fizzy feeling?" Ned quizzically states.

"Okay, that was a bad metaphor. Whatever, I didn't go to USC like you did" Gem flicks her hair with irritation. "But I didn't love you and it shouldn't have gotten as far as it did" She stands and lifts her heavy handbag up. "This won't be the last time you see me, We're scheduled for a bickering next week outside of a club of your choosing. At least I'm not being too bossy about this" She says sarcastically.

"Fine" Ned leads her to the door.

"Hold on" She takes a tiny bottle of "Visine" out of her purse and squirts a few drops on her cheeks. "I have to look like I'm sad"

_**It's all about the looks. That's why we couldn't stay together, Ge. Because I wasn't the look. I wasn't a party animal. Because I was shy and withdrawn. **_"Heh." Ned closes the door behind her. "Moze?"

"Yeah" Moze's voice floats faintly down the hallway. "Don't want to be a pain between you and...her."

"Moze. Anything we had is gone, okay? Ge is just another ex. Albeit a control freak, but she's not as bad as everyone makes her out to be"

"A party hopping, table dancing drunk?" Moze sweeps out out of her room in an annoyed huff.

_**Okay, I'm pretty sure she didn't hear that thing about me loving her. Otherwise I'm sure she'd have something to say about that. Wait, when did I admit that to myself?**_

__Ned raises his hand to his temple. "Okay, let's not get into this. Please."

"God, if you get back together with her..." Moze purses her lips. _**Why are you acting so hurt? You knew it was coming the moment you opened the door and saw her little blond self sashaying through the door **_murmurs Moze's inner voice

"I won't. Trust me" Ned takes her hand and leads her to the kitchen. "How about something to eat..."

_**See?**_Moze says to herself as she follows him. _**I believe in him.**_

-db-

"So what do you think we're having?" Ned asks as he wields a spatula and pushes eggs around on the pan.

"Eggs, it looks like" Moze raises an eyebrow. "But with your cooking, that burned brown lump could be sausage."

"The baby, I mean" Ned narrows his eyes as he presses the lever to open the garbage can with one foot and tosses the charred eggs in the trash with a grimace.

"A girl"

"Why? You think my sperm isn't that strong to make male kids?"

"Only you would say that. No wonder you failed Freshman Bio" Moze grins at him. "No, I just think because it happened so quickly, and they say the harder it is to conceive, the more likely it's a boy."

"It doesn't matter" Ned cuts her off before she can say anything. "Healthy is what matters." He sidles up behind her and swallows hard. "Because I plan on having more kids with you anyway" He tries to play it off teasingly, but it comes out deadly serious.

Moze shivers in spite of herself. "Is it cold in here?"

"Yeah. A breeze just came through" Ned walks over to the window and shuts it with a slam. "Better?"

"Yeah." Moze rubs her arms. _**Ok, there is no way that I just got a chill from Ned. This is Ned. He's practically family. **_She thinks. _**You don't think that when he kisses you. **_Says her inner voice in a sing-song taunting voice. _**You weren't thinking that when he touches you like....**_

"Shut up!" she hisses to herself.

"Huh?" Ned turns his attention back to her with a pan in his left hand and a spatula in his right. He distributes the "food" to her and cocks his head.

"Nothing. My inner voice is being really loud today" She folds her hands on top of the table, then picks up a fork.

"I don't think I have one of those" Ned raises an eyebrow. _**At least, one that gets heard! **_His inner voice grimaces. _**If you listened to me more often.. **_He puts the other half on his place and starts to dig in.

_**I'd be married to Ge right now? **_Ned answers in his mind. _**No, you'd tell Moze what you feel. **_Says the voice snottily.

__As this minor debate is going on in Ned's head, Moze watches him carefully. "Ned?" She pokes him in the shoulder. "Should I call the guys with the straitjacket?" She snaps her fingers. "Neeeedddd?"

"Yeah, sorry. Being alone these last couple of years has made me a little more.." Ned trails off and makes air quotes. " 'in my head'"

"I don't call making out with a heiress being alone" Moze says with a hint of sarcasm. "Do you?"

"Yeah I do. Me and Gem's relationship was all about being alone in a crowd. I was really just the designated coat-holder." Ned elaborates, miming the holding of a coat.

"Well, considering her size, I bet it wasn't that heavy" Moze mocks.

"Ugh these things were made out of raccoons or something. I can assure you, they were quite heavy."

"Raccoons? That sounds kinda.. illegal"

"Illegal or not, the wealthy can have everything" Ned advises. "That's one of the book worthy things I learned from the whole experience." Before the conversation switched to Gem, Ned was an open book. Moze watches his face and notices it has gone blank, hiding emotion from her.

"Mm" Moze picks at the colorful plate o f food in front of her.

"What's the matter, my cooking's that bad?" Ned leans forward and inspects the plate "I'm not dead yet"

_**No.. the lethal combination of your closeness and the morning sickness is killing me. **_

__"Yet..." Moze begins, but is interrupted by the phone ringing. She leans over and picks up the phone. "Ned Bigby's residence"

"Aunty Jennifer?" Lissy says with confusion. "Did I dial the wrong number?" She looks up at Cookie with a addled look. "Daaa-dy, you called Auntie Jennifer!"

"No I.." Cookie says faintly in the background. "Hello?"

"Hey Cookie. Lisa told you?"

"Yeah, of course. But as soon as Ned told me, I just about.." He looks down at Lissy. "pooped a brick"

"I know" Moze smiles. "I didn't think he was capable of it, either"

"Hey!" Ned protests.

"Is he whining like a girl?" Cookie teases. "He often does that"

"Maybe Gem wasn't the one that left" Moze pinches Ned. "No, he hasn't gotten liposuction and his hair's not blond"

Ned sashays away and gives Moze a foul glance.

"That's not exactly helping your case!" Moze yells after him.

I know...I know...this chapter is somewhat fillery but trust me, this won't be the last appearance of Gem, and there is for sure more interesting stuff to come.


	10. The Great Mistake

Disclaimer: I don't own Ned's Declassified.

Author's Notes: God I wish this story was as popular as it was in its heyday. But I can't do anything about it but plug along. Regardless of readership, I intend to finish this. Hope you stick around for the ride.

_From the Notebook of Ned Bigby_

_I remember the day that Lissy was born. Besides the fact that it made me a godfather, something of importance I'd never had before, it was a day that would have changed my life otherwise. _

_"Ned." Moze poked me in the back. "NED!"_

_"Whuzza?" I rolled over to ignore her. It sounds mean but it was 3 am, and I was tired. _

_"Lisa's having the baby. We need to get to the hospital" Moze poked me one last time, and when I didn't respond, she shoved me so hard that I rolled off the bed and hit the floor so hard it woke me up. _

_"I'm awake!" I triumphantly yelled. _

_"Good. Put some pants on, then" Moze tossed a pair of me, and I attempted to not put both legs in the same leg. It took a few tries and a few falls to the floor, but overall it worked out just fine._

_We left the apartment in silence and drove in silence. It could have been from nervousness but most likely out of worry for Lisa and this baby. And Cookie, for his nails would probably be all gone after labor. But as we drove there, the light of the street lamps reflecting on her tired face, Moze said quietly "Would you want to start trying for one of our own?"_

-db-

"Have you ever seen Alien?" The obstetrician sits by Moze's side. Ned hovers nervously on her right side, and taps his fingers and shifts his weight. His right hand jumps to his mouth and he starts gnawing on a loose piece of cuticle worriedly.

"N-"

"Good. Don't" This was Moze's 8th appointment with this doctor, and she still makes her uneasy. Typically when someone is poking around in your body, you should be comfortable with them. Ned swore that all of his married female friends had been okay with her, but there was just something about her...

"Uh, okay?" Ned cocks his head to the left.

"Well, I think we're done for today" The doctor, Dr. Lessing, snaps off her gloves and tosses them into a garbage. "Your next appointment is on October 27th, don't forget, okay?"

"I'll try not to" Moze says dryly. She walks out of the office with Ned, her arm swinging slightly. _**Maybe I should grab his hand. Or..**_

__ "You know what we should do?" Ned says suddenly after they pass a fancy restaurant. "To celebrate, we should get all fancied up, go out and eat at one of these stupid trendy places."

"Celebrate what? That everything's okay?"

"Yeah, so get on your fanciest and we're going to go tonight, okay? I'll swing by the apartment and we can head there together."

"Okay" Moze holds his gaze as he walks her to the door of the building, then hails a cab and takes off. He has another meeting with his publisher-always an unpleasant experience. Some things don't change since school, and Ned's procrastination was legendary among those that they knew. If it weren't for the constant threats of breaching contract, there'd never be any books.

Marcus Atkinson is a big burly hulk of a man with thinning sandy blond hair (no thanks to his daughter's DWI and his favorite author being constantly late). The aforementioned hair is currently flipping around as he paces a tight circle around his desk. Ned is 10 minutes late, and he is already imagining bad scenarios where Ned has been hit by a passing taxi or has decided to go to Myanmar and skip out on his book. A few seconds later, Ned coolly walks into the room.

"Howdy Marcus. Sup" Ned puts on an exaggerated SoCal accent and smirks.

"You think you're funny, kid" Marcus grunts with his heavy Brooklyn accent.

"I am. That's why my books sell" Ned says in an non confrontational manner.

"True" Marcus narrows his gaze at him. "But that doesn't explain why you think its perfectly acceptable to saunter into my office late. You better have a good excuse"

"What, am I a high school student that has to give an excuse to the principal?"

"How old are you?" Marcus sits down and leans back in the chair, making an unearthly groan come from the springs. "There could be a high school student that's your age"

"Why did you call me here?" Ned folds his hands in his lap and raises an eyebrow.

"Aw I can't check in with my favorite person once in a while?" Marcus sarcastically trills.

"I had to take my wife to an appointment" Ned suddenly blurts out.

"That trashy blond one? Already she's knocked up? Jeez, you work fast" Marcus pulls open his drawer and flips a piece of nicotine gum into his mouth. He chomps on it fiercely, and that motion reminds Ned that Gem hadn't contacted him after the last time he saw her weeks ago. That reminder fills him with dread. As soon as this last thing is done, she would leave him alone, he reassured himself.

"Ya know I always liked Jennifer much better"

"So do I" murmurs Ned. "That's why I'm lucky she's the one"

Marcus raises an eyebrow but feigns deafness to what he's just heard. It's really none of his business what the kid does. As long as he's happy.

"Awright, you need to have at least an outline ready by the end of this month" Marcus puts a meaty hand forward and flicks the desk calender to the right month with a quick motion. Ned watches his hand in a somewhat trance-like state. "Howzabout October 27th?"

Marcus begins talking about something else, but Ned can't hear him. He sounds like he's at the bottom of the well all of a sudden, and he drifts off.

-db-

Moze sits with her legs in front of her studying her expanding belly. "Baby, what do you think your name should be?" She asks to nobody. "Gurgle? Okay"

She hauls herself up and searches through her luggage looking through it for something fancy enough for a restaurant. _**It's nice that he offers to do stuff like this. I'm so nervous, its weird. Like we're on a first date or something. **_

_**Which is pretty funny once you factor in the fact that we're married. **_

_**It's so weird being in this unfamiliar place with him. When we lived together, or heck, even lived next door to each other, I knew every inch of every place. I remember... **_

_-db-_

_"MOZE!" Ned said to her, his cell phone balanced on one shoulder as he throws everything in his dorm room around. The room is so cramped and small with all of his and Cookie's junk all over the place that when he throws a human anatomy textbook to the other side of the room, it fell a mere 5 feet away from where he threw it. _

_"What!" Moze hissed. "I'm in the library?"_

_"When you were over here last night, did you happen to see where I put the notebook?"_

_Moze closed her eyes and pictures the messy expanse that is Ned and Cookie's room. Then she visualizes the worn out green composition that is becoming a draft of Ned's Declassified College Survival Guide. _

_"I AM STUDYING FOR A BIOLOGY EXAM! I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS!"_

_"So you don't know?"_

_"Check your top drawer in your bedside table" Moze said coolly. _

_"Thanks" Ned yelled out exuberantly. "I love you."_

_Even though Moze knew this was mostly about a lost book than a reassurance of feelings, she still feels a warmth go through her. _

_-db-_

Moze smiles at the thought of that memory and remembers the happy jingle of her cell phone in her college days. She claimed it was annoying but always jumped on it if someone were to call.

__Suddenly, her cell phone starts blinking and chirping a happy song. Moze dives for it, and flips it open. "Hey..." **_Oh god I hope the baby didn't feel that..._**

"Hey, I found this really cool place. It reminds me a lot of home"

"You mean it's not clean and smells slightly like a locker room?" Moze walks into Ned's room idly and wrinkles her nose at the unmade bed.

"No... the menu's not that fancy crap that none of us want to eat." Ned walks slowly past a newsstand and does a double take at one of the covers, which features Gem on the cover, sitting on a bar stool. She solemnly studies the glass in front of her and the blaring headline says "My struggles and strength" Ned huffs and lets out a sigh. "Why me?" He lifts up up the bright magazine and flips through it.

"'Ey Mac!" The newspaperman grunts. "This ain't no lending library, buy it and go!"

Ned narrows his eyes at the man. He reaches into his pocket and throws a few singles at the flustered man. "You'd think if my ex fiancée was on the cover, I'd get comped for it."

"That's a new one" Mutters the guy as he pockets the money.

"What?" Moze utters as he sits down on a nearby bench, frantically flipping through the shiny pages for the article. And his heart stops. Because on the second page of the article is a picture of him. Not the typical stock photo that they always use for him that they get from the back covers of the books, or the one paparazzi shot he has framed on his wall of him ducking out of a cab. The picture is of him and Moze kissing the day she arrived. Luckily for him and her, all the viewer can see due to the angle is the side of Ned's face and a few of locks of long brown hair. Brown hair that clearly doesn't belong to Gem.

"What." Moze says flatly. "Ned. Ned!" She growls.

"We're in People" Ned stammers out.

"What?"

"Well, I am. You're just a girl that I was seen with" Ned says, his hands shaking slightly as he holds up the page

"Read it to me" Moze demands. She sighs and sits back on Ned's bed with relief.

"At a time when she needs him the most in this difficult time, fiancé Ned Bigby has been seen kissing this unidentified woman. When asked what she thought about this revealing photo, Gem looks down and will not say anything. She merely shakes her head and smiles wanly. 'Ned loves me' But they have noticeably been on the rocks, with Gem photographed leaving his apartment in tears lately." Ned takes a deep breath and coughs. "It goes on to blather on and on about how she knows her partying and drinking is out of control, but she feels with the support and love of her friends and family, she can get through it"

"Funny, she didn't seem like that type when I met her for that brief half-second before I ran off" Moze.

"Really, she's not, but the latest fad in celebrity is being morally ostentatious." Ned switches ears and narrowly misses running into a fruit cart. The vendor turns and swears at him profusely in another language. Ned just smiles and keeps walking.

"Are you coming home now?" Moze rolls back on the blue comforter to look at the digital clock sitting on the nightstand. "It's getting kinda late"

"Yeah I know, it's almost 8" Ned notes with a quick flick of his wrist. "Marcus wanted to chat with me a little longer than I would have preferred"

"By chat, you mean yell at you for again not sticking to schedule?" Moze tries to sit back up, but her excess baby weight causes her to slam back down again. She winces from the sudden shock and tries to sit up again.

"You okay?"

"Yeah" Moze mutters as she finally gets herself back into a regular position. "See you later?"

"Yep" Ned says tentatively. He comes to the end of the street and suddenly gets an idea. "I'll be home soon."

-db-

Ned stands in front of Gem's apartment building staring at the heavy door that separates him from what he wants to say. When one thinks of apartments they think of small with a slightly darkened hallway. This was definitely not one of those places. Gem's apartment alone was larger than Ned's childhood house. Ned closes his eyes and walks through the door. _**I better make this quick, it took me longer to get here than I thought I would. **_

"Miss Croix? Mr. Bigby to see you"The ancient doorman wheezes into the intercom in the lobby. Ned never knew why the building had a doorman when there were only two residents in the building, Gem and a young celebrity couple that so valued their privacy that they had their own security force guarding the door.

Ned hops on the elevator up to Gem's penthouse, afraid of what the snarling blond socialite will say. _**Or maybe she'll just sic her vicious dog on me and I'll run away screaming. **_

__"Hey, sweetie" Gem opens the door with a beaming smile. 'I'm surprised you're here. Usually I have to initiate any form of contact"

"What the hell is this?" Ned brandishes the glossy magazine before her startled eyes. "I swear, Gem, you promised me that you were going to leave me out of this"

"I.." And the formerly strong girl seems to shrink with every step she takes backwards into her apartment. _**Almost mine and hers. **_Ned angrily thinks to himself. _**Thank god for Cookie and Lisa needing me. That ruined my plans but saved my life. **_

__"Gem, I thought we agreed we were moving on" Ned seethes. "Now she's mad at me"

"She being the ex wife that you went back to?" Gem says, visibly relaxing as she teeters in her pink platforms to her couch, where she collapses with a sigh. "If she loves you, she'll understand."

"That things have changed, that now I'm paparazzi fodder when I never was before?"

"Exactly." Gem pops a bright pink piece of bubble gum in her mouth and gnaws on it thoughtfully. "So here to show me my press? I have an agent or something like that who does that for me..."

"I want you to leave me alone. Tell them we broke up and cry in your vodka all night." Ned sits down in an uncomfortable chair stiffly. He leans forward and stares pensively at Gem.

"One last thing" Gem holds up a perfectly manicured fingertip. "You promised, and then we're done. I've been meaning to call you and let you know when we were going to do that mock fight, but I never got around to it. I've been **so** busy"

_**Dancing all night long is busy?**_

__"If you say so."

"Well you're here, so we might as well do this now" Gem grabs a tiny furry purse like thing off the counter and zips past him at the door.

"Wait, what?" Ned looks after her with a baffled look.

"We're going to Le Chic, we're going to dance around a while, we're going to fight, I'm going to cry and we'll break up" Gem pats her nose with powder and yanks the door shut. Ned stumbles forward because she has clipped his heels with the bottom of the door.

"How did I get roped into this?" Ned frowns at her.

"You said you would" Gem storms ahead. "Perfect. Remember this emotion, we're going to need this later when we fight."

Ned follows her downstairs where she waves jauntily to the doorman, who already has a cab waiting for her outside the door.

_**Maybe that old dude is psychic. **_

__Ned climbs into the cab behind Gem, tripping and falling into it face first.

"Ugh" She snorts with derision.

_**Why do I get so clumsy when she's around? Is there something about her that just makes me act like I'm trying out new feet for the first time?**_

__"You make it very hard to like you" Ned straightens up and sits back in the cab as it pulls away from the curb with a sudden jolt of speed.

"I like that line" Gem inspects her nails carefully and sees a spot of dirt under her index finger. She uses another nail to try to pry the offending object out. She succeeds, and the brown spot comes flying out and onto the floor. "Use it"

"Is this a relationship or a puppet show?" Ned gives her an aghast look.

"Was this a relationship or a puppet show? Sweetie, watch your tenses" Gem finishes picking at her nails and then digs in her freakishly tiny sparkle pink purse for something. After a few moments of fumbling, she unearths a designer lip gloss. She untwists it, wipes the brush on the side and applies it with the practiced ease of someone that has done it a thousand times.

"What are you, my mom?"

"Funny. Funny. Ha. Ha." Gem snaps her bag authoritatively and pays the driver. "Ready?" She scans his face and empty hands disapprovingly. "You should have brought sunglasses"

"Ge, it's late at night"

"Yeah, but those flashbulbs are really annoying" Gem swings her legs out ladylike and plasters on a false smile.

"Where are we?" Ned leans forward so that she can hear him over a cacophony of noise.

"Francophile." Gem mutters through her shiny white grin as she struts and poses. "I'm positively starved."

Ned pushes through the throng of photographers and practically dives through the door. The host looks questioningly at Ned.

"Comment vas-tu?"

"What?" Ned gets up from his knees and uses the manners his mother taught him. "I'm er... Ned Bigby, here with Gem Croix? I hope we have a reservation?"

"Ah oui..." The host nods slowly. "Mademoiselle Croix is a.. how do you say.. welcome guest regardless of reservation"

"Is it the girl herself or the fact that your restaurant is going to be in every tabloid rag in America?" Ned's face twitches into a smirk.

"Ah Monsieur, a little of both" He beckons for Ned to follow him. "I shall see to it that Mademoiselle Croix finds you later. May I recommend something to start?"

"No thanks, I'm not much for eating right now" Ned sits down and puts his head in his hands. "I don't feel like doing much of anything."

**10:52 pm**

"I really want to get home." Ned groans. He searches for his watch on his wrist but find that its not there.

"You prooommiiissseeedd!" Gem whines, and for a long moment, Ned sees the little girl she has seemingly grown out of being.

"I..."

"Coommeee oonnn! I neeeed to work off this fatty French food!" Gem grabs him by the left shoulder and drags him down the street to the pulsing walls of a club.

"I don't want to!" Ned screams.

The paparazzi, sensing a fight from their tinted black windows scurry around and dash out to meet the "fighting" pair.

"I'm sick of this! I'm not your puppet and I'm not your slave and I need you to realize that!" Ned says with agony in his voice. Every negative thought he has had about her in the last few months come pouring out in a flurry of words, accompanied with hand motions and facial expressions wild.

Gem stands before him teetering on her tall heels. She says not a word, her flat eyes flicking back and forth, her face blankly expressionless. She purses her lips after a heartbeat and sighs. "Let's not do this here."

"Why not here! Because there's always an excuse. ALWAYS!"

"Ned, I..."

**"WHAT GEM! WHAT!"** Inwardly, Ned smiles. This is almost enjoyable.

"Nothing." Gem sullenly replies. "Let's go inside. People are staring"

"God!"

He storms in ahead of her past the flabbergasted bouncer.

"Don't worry" gasps Gem as she staggers after Ned to the bouncer. "He's with me"

"Yes, Miss Croix" The bouncer nods at her.

"Is it weird being called Miss Croix by someone whose older than you?" Ned mumbles.

"Every time" Gem sits at the bar, waves her hand and two drinks instantly appear before the duo.

"Sounds like it would be" Ned raises an eyebrow.

"Eat drink and be merry" Gem raises her neon drink up to his in a toast.

"Here's to public displays of breaking up." Ned agrees and clinks his drink against hers.

**12:21 am**

Ned, with fumbling fingers, puts his keys in the lock and pushes through the door, giggling to himself. _**I'm FREEEE! FINALLY FREE OF THAT WENCH!**_

__"Hey" Moze sits in his freshly painted living room, the light from the late night show flickering across her tired face.

Ned just looks ahead, the blues and greens creating patterns on his face.

"I.." He beings.

"You... I don't want to hear it" Moze hefts her weight off the couch and walks off.

"Wha...I..."

"Congratulations, Ned." Moze coldly continues on to her guest room. "I almost believed you for a few moments there. Really had me going."

_**Oh crap. **_


	11. Shiny Things

Disclaimer: I do not own Ned's Declassified as much as I wish I did

Author's Notes: Enjoy the chapter.

_From the Notebook of Ned Bigby_

_I have no idea what to write._

_I've felt this panic before. About projects, and tips and date ideas and stuff. But never about an entire book like this before. _

_With all of my books, I've always gone through a major life change before it. My college survival guide.. my wedding survival guide. _

_I could, of course write about this baby. Baby girl if Moze is on the money in terms of guessing. Baby Bigby. Every bookstore shelf is jammed with books about babies, pregnancy and conceiving...Although I can't really give advice about that. I mean, it's not really a book so much as "Get overcome with lust for your ex wife, forget to use protection and bam, baby. More like a few sentences. _

_Something about this recent development makes me shy. Makes me not want to tell anyone. Except for Cookie. And Lissy. And Gem. But in general not tell anyone. Even as I'm living this, I don't find myself racing with tips. I end up an observer, seeing my wife-jeez, that feels so familiar to write that again- vomit up her morning waffles I hold her hair back sure, and put a towel under her knees so it doesn't get painful. I'm not a hovering dad and I'm not impassive.. I'm just there not sure where I should be going. _

_And about accidental remarriage? I don't know what to say about it in my life, much less advice. Plus this isn't exactly normal, you know?_

_**-db-**_

__Thump. Thump. Thump. _**I'm starting to hate people that knock on my door. **_Ned shuffles to the door half asleep. _**Or interrupt my sleep in any way, ahem Cookie ahem. **_He peeks through the peephole to see someone he never expected to see. As slowly as possible, he unlatches the locks and opens the door.

"Hey Suz" He mutters as she brushes past him, whacking him in the knee with her travel bag on the way in. Even a mess by normal standards, she's still lovely with her hair tied loosely back and wearing baggy pink sweats. Suzie tosses it like a bowling ball into Ned's sparsely decorated living room and it bounces up and lands up on the couch. She pumps her hand in joy at her victory.

"Ey Ned" She reaches up and musses his hair like an older sister. "I'm assuming that Jennifer didn't tell you I was coming"

"We're not speaking so much anymore" Ned carefully pats his hair back into the messy mop it usually is in.

"Yeah, she mentioned" Suzie flops back onto the couch lazily. "I figured she'd let you know that the sleeping arrangements have to change. I see no reason to stay in a hotel when you have a perfectly nice guest room right here."

"When are you people going to realize this is a brownstone, not a hotel for free?" Ned moans. "I only have one guest room, and that's currently occupied by someone."

"But there's more rooms in here" Suzie innocently waves a manicured hand at the hallway leading to the rest of the apartment.

"Yeah, my office and the storage closet" Ned rebuts.

"You wouldn't make your pregnant wife sleep on the couch in your office would you?" Suzie's eyes widen.

"No, but I'd make you" Ned snaps back.

"Touchy, touchy" Suzie smirks. She opens her mouth to say more but is interrupted by a slam coming from the back of the apartment.

"Hey Suzie when'd you get in!" Moze flings herself across the room into her best friend's waiting arms.

_Feels like I haven't heard her voice in so long _Ned thinks to himself.

"Just a few minutes ago."

The two women start off a fast stream of endless chatter that Ned tunes out when he slowly creeps off to the kitchen to get something to drink. He's going to need the strongest espresso in the world if he's going to put up for these two for a long time

-db-

"HE sure looks cranky" Suzie looks conspiratorially at Moze. "Sheesh"

"I probably should have told him you were coming" Moze says reasonably. "He already has me leeching off of him, he isn't exactly going to be happy about my best friend just coming in and declaring that he clear out space for her"

"Eh" Suzie picks up her blackberry and spins it, then flips it deftly. "You're looking great though, it looks like you swallowed a basketball instead of getting that expansion most women do."

"You're such a great liar" Moze feels a smile flickering onto her lips. "So how is the search for love going?"

"Eh" Suzie waves her hand in the air to show the iffiness of getting a mate in the LA publicist world. "But I love my job. If I didn't, I'd be miserable that I don't have anything at the age of 28"

"And what do I have?" Moze rests her hand on her belly "I have a husband that can't act like a husband, a baby that's rapidly approaching and no job. Lovely"

"But you don't have to worry about your biological clock ticking" Suzie pats her tummy. "So any names for the little girl?"

"Well I made up a list from A-Z. Tell me what you think" Moze fumbles in her hoodie pocket for the list.

"Do you carry that list around with you?" Suzie looks incredulously at the crumpled and wrinkled wad of filler paper.

"I never know when I'm going to get a good idea" She shrugs as if to respond to that.

"Ava" Moze begins.

"Wait, is she taking Ned's last name or yours?"

"Ned's...Even if we weren't technically married, I'd still let her have it.. I've always somewhat hated my last name. I don't think it's fair to saddle another little girl with the nickname Moze too."

"Well your little girl would most likely not have a little Ned who gives her the nickname." Suzie points out. "Ava Bigby...Hm"

"Briana?"

"No way" Suzie shakes her head "Too alliterative. No B's."

"Caroline or Carolina"

"Nah, Carol sounds like an older lady that has 300 cats" Suzie folds her arms. "You got anymore? You're not exactly scoring here"

"Diana, Emma, Fiona, Gina, Helena?"

"NO" Suzie pauses. "Emma's not so bad. Emma Bigby. It's a little common but workable"

"Okay, if you want me to be totally honest, a lot of these are just...eh. But there is one that I really like" Moze says enthusiastically.

"I'm a little scared to find out, after hearing these names so far" Suzie grins merrily.

"Lia. Lia Grace Mosely Bigby" Moze declares.

"Does Lia mean something? It seems pretty short"

"It means one who comes bringing... and with the middle name it's One who comes bringing grace" Moze states.

"Have you asked Ned?"

"Like he cares" Moze's voice drifts throughout the apartment, hitting Ned's ear.

_**Not true. I care. I care a lot. **_ Ned slouches back in his slate gray computer chair at the blinking line in the blank word document he's working on.

"If he cared, he would do something about it. I might as well be living by myself with someone that buys toilet paper once in a while. Ya know.. I don't even mind so much if he doesn't love me... But he needs to love this baby that we're going to have. Me...We'll figure something out" Moze says, softer this time, with a hint of gentleness in her voice. She seems accepting of this fate.

"STUPID STUPID STUPID" Ned rams his head against the desk in a thumping motion. "ARRRGHHHH"

_**Did he hear that? **_Moze perks up a little _**I doubt it. It's probably frustration over that book. **_

__"Ned?" Suzie asks tentatively.

"Sweetie, having trouble with the book?" Moze yells to Ned, her tone tinged with a hint of sarcasm.

"Not a thing wrong smoochy face" Ned replies with an edge to his voice.

"If you removed the sarcasm, you guys would be one of those sickening couples that are all snuggly" Suzie spins the blackberry. "I sorta wish you were though." She lowers her voice. "Because then this would be a little weird but not this complicated"

"I think I do too" Moze pontificates.

-db-

"Suzie I need you to help me with something" Ned yanks on Suzie's arm later that night.

"What" Suzie says with a long suffering sigh. "God do you know how badly you're messing with her head?"

"Okay, I don't know what right you have to start acting like you know" Ned grits his teeth and clenches his fists. "It's...weird. And this is going to help with that."

"What do you have in mind?"

"Something..shiny." Ned waves his hands around to emphasize his murky point.

"Like...?"

"Something nice. And I want you to help me pick it out. You know her better than anyone." Ned sighs.

"I think there are somethings you'd know better than I would" Suzie raises an eyebrow.

"You know what I mean" Ned narrows his eyes. "Hopefully it'll make amends. Okay?"

"This reeks of a bad idea" Suzie says irritatedly. "You're too vague and I can't help when you're being vague. Thinking of jewelry? Then meet me downstairs and break out your bank card because after whats been going on? Too much won't be enough."

Ned takes out his wallet and groans inwardly. _**But this is going to be worth it in the end. Because for once in recent history, Ned Bigby is going to get the girl. Hopefully. **_

__"I'm looking for something that says 'I love you'" Ned states as he strolls down his street with Suzie in the direction of a jewelry store.

"Do you?" Suzie asks.

"Why do you insist on driving me crazy" Ned complains. "You know I do. You might be razzing me about it now, but if you think about it. You know."

Suzie stays quiet. "Maybe."

The next hour and a half passes almost like a shopping montage from a movie. Ned holds up something, and Suzie makes a face in clear rejection. They get mistaken for a couple for many times, and as it happens, Suzie's face falls lower and lower and lower, although the distantly sad face vanishes when Ned looks at her.

Near the end of the trip, at what seems like their millionth shop, Ned thinks he's found it. "This?" He holds up a heart shaped necklace similar to the one he bought her years and years before for an anniversary when they were teenagers. However, it's larger and a solid heart rather than an outline.

"What's so special about it" Suzie skeptically looks at it.

"I'm going to get it specially fitted with the march birthstone..for the baby." Ned holds it up higher so it catches the sparkle of the light through the window. "But it's going to take a while for them to get it done, so I'm thinking I should get something for right now." He points at a glimmering diamond band. "That's for a lot of stuff that I did"

"Does it mean anything or..."

"For the five year anniversary I missed? I dunno. " Ned shrugs. Suzie has nothing to say to that, and merely watches as Ned whips out his credit card to pay for the the purchases.

"Ned?" She says quietly as he sticks the small black velvet box in his pocket. He holds the door as they leave the store.

"Thanks for your help" Ned pats Suzie's shoulder. "I never could have done it without you telling me what's good and what's not."

"Not what I was going for, but okay." Suzie threads her fingers into each other, lets go and does it again. Then she starts cracking her knuckles.

"Do you have cancer?" Ned says solemnly. "Did the fluorescent lights in there give you cancer?"

"What?" Suzie bursts out laughing and relaxes slightly. "NO!"

"I hate to ask this, but are you pregnant?" Ned raises an eyebrow.

"How the heck would that happen" Suzie says bitterly. "It's been the dry spell to end all dry spells"

"Hm. Do I have to go to the seedy part of town and buy you a little of affection?" Ned teases. The small amount of animosity that had been hovering in the air evaporates and they are once again the school chums that they had been before all the problems that came up with age.

"N...no" Suzie stutters. "Have you ever..."

"Hm?" Ned looks back at her and stops humming a merry tune he had been humming under his breath for the last few yards.

"Wondered what if?"

"You can't ask just that" Ned says after a beat of silence. "I wonder what if I didn't get my book contract if I'd be eating out of a dumpster. If I hadn't met Cookie in the first grade, would I still be Lissy's godfather?"

"Didn't you meet Cookie in kindergarten?"

"Whatever, same difference" Ned waves it off.

"I've never understood that phrase" Suzie touches her lips absently and lets out a breath Ned didn't realize she had been holding.

_**I hope she's okay. **_

"I mean, it doesn't make much sense. They're two things that mean opposite things" Suzie prattles on nervously.

"So..." Ned runs a hand through his hair. "What's on your mind?"

"What if we had stayed together?" Suzie says abruptly.

"I... don't know" Ned pauses. "I don't think we would stay together too long." _**Because I was in love with my best friend. And I wanted you because you were someone to idolize. That's not love. **_

"I just.." Suzie starts to cry, bawling into her woolly burgundy sweater. "I'm always the last one. The leftover. Lisa and Jennifer. They have it ALL. Lisa has the beautiful baby girl and the husband that loves her and and and..."

Ned silently considers the woman before him. She has a successful career and a great apartment, loving friends and a caring family. _**I have a sister that mocks me, a mother that nags me, a best friend that secretly thinks I've been plotting this all along, and a pregnant wife that hates me. At least Suzie's better off than me. **_

__"And I wonder if maybe if I had stayed with you then I would be living this life. I'd have a baby that I want. This life, in the city" She sniffles and wipes a tear.

"I don't think so" Ned says plainly. "This was an accident. This wouldn't happen in your perfect world. You'd be planning and plotting it into perfection. Don't envy my chaos."

"This whole being single thing isn't what it's cracked up to be" Suzie rifles through her purse looking for a pocket pack of tissues.

"This is my point though" Ned motions. "A pack of tissues? You're not enough of a mess to work with me. I'd keep wiping my manly tears on my shirt sleeve"

"Saltwater fades the color on fabric" Suzie parrots perfectly. "I always tell Lisa and Jennifer that I'm doing just fine. I joke about it. But it's agony coming up fast on my 30th birthday with nothing to show for it"

"So the Suzie Crabgrass with the wildly successful publicist firm doesn't exist. The only one of our friends who actually bought a house on their own?"

"It's so empty in there" Suzie says in a broken voice. "At the end of the day it's just me in that empty place." She turns away from him, and Ned turns her face to him.

__"Hey. You know how to solve that? Number one. Get Lissy to come over and spend some time with her Aunt Suz. No better way of remembering why you don't want kids than an actual child. Second, don't worry about it. The Guy will come along. When you're not looking"

She steps onto the steps leading to the lobby and walks in. Suzie walks next to him for a moment and reaches up and aims to kiss him lightly on the cheek as a friend. However, a last minute move from Ned makes it land on the corner of his mouth.

"Ned." A voice that sounds decidedly unlike Suzie speaks. It sounds weary and frustrated and Ned's heart sinks into the ground. "What the hell."

"Jennifer, I...."

"Strike two, Ned" Moze walks off stomping away while Suzie runs after her, crying forgiveness and explanations.

Ned collapses on a couch in the lobby, completely drained and horrified.

Rob the doorman looks enviously at the backs of Suzie and Moze. "Man you're so lucky."

"No I'm not." Ned puts his head in his hands. "I really am not"

-db-

Originally, Suzie was supposed to come on to Ned after expressing a regret for letting him go, and make out with him. The rest of the scene would play out as it did here.. Only I felt like that made Suzie more of a skanky villain and less like the Suzie from the show. But it all adds up to the same thing. I think I don't want to write anyone badly. Read and review my friends. This will get better


	12. Love and Misdirection

Disclaimer: I don't own Ned's Declassified

Author's Notes. So so sorry that I've been away for so long I had a massive amount of AP work that just caught up to me

_From the Notebook of Ned Bigby_

_ Guys usually want their significant others to shut up. To stop talking to them about their feelings. I am not one of those guys. Especially after a month of living in silence with one. At least once a day she passes by and I want to address some of the stuff that she talked about with Suzie. Tell her I love the name Lia. Lia Grace. _

_ Lia Grace who I hope has her mom's brown eyes and my fuzzy brown hair. Who will hopefully some day kick butt and be just as responsible as her mom. The best friend to Lisette even though they're on opposite coasts. Goddaughter to Suzie. Who will have everything that my parents tried to give but ultimately couldn't. And most of all.. I want her to have a whole family. A mom and a dad who can walk together to bring her to her pre-school down the block. _

_ I want her to let me. But the universe seems to be dead set on keeping us apart. When we were 13, 15, 23 and that two weeks in college we won't ever speak of again. _

_ I want to do what makes her happy..but why can't those two things be the same?_

_ -db-_

It is painful. Like getting elbowed in the back when she used to play volleyball back in college by some particularly zealous teammate. _**Lia Lia my girl who likes to move. **_

__Moze rolls over. _**I have to talk to Ned about changing this mattress to a memory foam one. This thing's harder than a rock. **_

__Then she feels it. A kick, sharp but obvious. She palms her belly and waits. Again the baby slams the wall of her uterus with its foot. _**First kick, second kick...Ned would never forgive me if he missed this. **_

__After several moments of struggling she pushes herself out of the bed and into the narrow hallway that leads to Ned's room. She pauses a moment and thinks about knocking, but just barges in. _**What's the worst that's going to happen? **_She ponders _**Would he kiss my best friend? No he's done that.**_

__Suzie had left early the following morning after the incident, shamefaced and somber, muttering a soft apology to Moze before stepping into the car. She made no eye contact with Ned. Moze holds nothing against her, Suzie never means anything by it, and Moze had been in the same boat before Lia came along. Ned on the other hand.... His missteps lately make her cringe lately.

Moze steps up and sits on the end of the bed, causing one side to collapse. She watches him sleep for a few moments, a stray hair hanging in his face, moving back and forth with each breath. Moze recalls a memory for a moment

_**" you awake?" Cookie poked his best friend in the cheek. **_

_** "Forget it, he's dead asleep" Lisa said, dressed up in her best finery for the charity dinner they were supposed to be headed to. Ned had promised it would be quick but of course it was not. **__**Moze turned to leave. **_

_** "One moment?" Cookie shut the door behind Lisa and Moze. She thought nothing of it. **_

_** What resulted was Ned waking up and finding himself coated in foundation and lipstick. Needless to say, that cell phone picture was circulated around for a long time to come. **_

__Moze crawls under the covers relishing in the cool sheets. She feels almost disembodied from this moment. Surely she's not really doing this. She rolls over and reaches for him under the sheet. When this does not rouse him, she flicks him on the ear.

"Nmrh" Ned flips over and in a dream like haze reaches for her.

"Hey." She takes his hand and places it slightly below her belly button. "Lia's kicking"

"Really?" Ned mumbles slightly, barely awake. "Hey what're you doing here?" He shifts his hand a little and is startled by the force of the kick. He is silent and feels it.

"Can I stay here?" Moze yawns loudly for theatrics. "I'm so tired but I know you couldn't...wouldn't want to miss this"

"Yeah" Ned says with amazement.

Moze stretches like a cat and goes back to sleep a little.

Ned tries to slow his heart beating through his chest and breathes deeply. _**Okay this is the closest it's going to get for a treaty. Now focus. She is here. Back in my bed. Sleep sure isn't coming after this. **_

_** I wonder...**_

__He reaches out with his hand to put his hand on her swelling tummy sticking out from under the blanket. She might be as far away from him as possible but it's a start. He touches her and then...

"Mmm" Moze turns her head toward him. "Stop"

"I'm sorry... I can't help it" He says with a grin playing on his lips. "I want to see if it happens again"

"Your hands are cold" Moze says carefully.

"Sorry" Ned shifts away until he can reach the bedside table drawer. When he sees that Moze has fallen asleep again he rolls out it out in silence. He takes out the little blue box that lies within that contains Moze's ring.

"Someday, Moze. Some day."

"What?" Moze smacks her hand over to her right.

""Nothing..." Ned half hums to himself.

-db-

"Have you seen my sneakers?" Ned asks as he trips over his feet to get out of his room. When he awoke that morning he found that Moze had left in the middle of the night. Whether that was symbolic or not had yet to be confirmed.

"Under the kitchen sink for some reason" Moze sits on his couch with her feet up idly flipping through a catalog for power tools.

"Thanks" He mutters as he tumbles into then out of the door of the kitchen.

"...Ned, I...." Moze folds the catalog shut and puts it on the cluttered table in his living room. _**How do I finish this statement. **_

__"Yeah?" _**How does she finish this statement. **_

__"So." She pauses. "Going to see someone special, then?"

"She won't be here for another three months" Ned looks searchingly at her face. _**Want me. Miss me. Please. **_

Moze leans her arm on her belly. "Mmm Lia my girly girl whose going to have brothers and sisters to fill every corner of this place"

".....uh" Ned says almost like a hiss of breath. "I should go"

"Okay" Moze nods. "Mhm..."

Ned takes the long subway ride up to Marcus's office and looks up at the building feeling so much like a tourist. He lets out a deep breath and walks in, passing the growling receptionst and the security guard with a grin.

_**I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL THAT MEANT BUT IT SOUNDED GOOD**_ Ned skips merrily down the hall right smack into Marcus's door.

"What the hell'd you take this morning, Mary Sunshine?" Marcus grunts as he walks past him.

"Where are you going?" Ned questions in an irritatingly high pitched voice.

"I have a meeting. You are going to stay here and explain why you've been dodging phone calls and e-mails for days" Marcus huffs coffee breath in Ned's face and he reels back. He points a sausage like index finger at an uncomfortable looking waiting room chair.

_**Waiting room chair....**_

__"Do you understand me?" Marcus yells at him.

"Yes, Mr. Atkinson" Ned says slowly and purposefully as he tries to sort out his mind.

"Ned. I love you like a son but you need to give me something here" Marcus barks with a hint of gentleness coating his sentence. "I can't keep buying you time"

"I just..have.."

"Have..?

"I have.." _**To go see Moze at her appointment. I bet she's going to be shocked and...**_

__"Writer's block" Ned says flatly. "I can't think of anything"

"We'll talk" Marcus walks down the hallway towards the conference room where hopefully he can eat enough donuts to relieve the stress of Ned Bigby and his lax work ethic.

"We won't" Ned says to himself as he slips into the elevator once he sees that Marcus has turned into the room. "At least.. not now"

"Mommy, why is that man talking to himself?" asks the daughter of the assistant to the editorial assistant, Karen. Lyra holds out a plump little hand out to Ned.

Karen smacks her hand lightly. "Honey it's not polite to point"

"Oh I don't mind" Ned taps Lyra's nose. "I've got to get used to it. My little girl's going to be laughing at my insanity some day"

Lyra and Karen get off at her office level and right before they get off, Ned can hear Lyra's tinny voice asking "Mommy what does insanity mean?"

Ned laughs. If Lyra had asked him, he would have defined it as his life right now.

-db-

_**I haven't seen Marcus in a while. **_Moze muses. _**A while being I haven't seen him since Ned and I got married and way way before this. **_

_** Oh don't lie to yourself. **_The inner voice scolds_**. You want to surprise Ned. **_

_** These hormones are making me insane **_

_** Oh? If it's so crazy why are you getting into a cab instead of going in that building right there to get prodded at by the pokey doctor. **_

_** I didn't say it was wrong. Just crazy. **_

_** Same thing?**_

__The cab sails through traffic faster than it ever has in Moze's memory. Almost in an instant she mechanically pays the driver and stands outside of Marcus Atkinson's office building. She walks through the doors and stands by the receptionist's desk.

"Who do you want to see?" The bored receptionist chews a piece of bubblicious and absently glances at her cell phone.

"Mr. Atkinson?" Moze means to sound assertive and self assured but it comes out more likea question.

"Who shall I say is calling?"

"Jennifer.. Mozel- Bigby" She says hesitantly. What are the odds that Marcus would remember her maiden name? The man barely remembered to pick up his dry cleaning.

"Sir?" The girl adjusts her headset "A Jennifer Mozel-Bigby?" Moze can faintly hear some yelling through the headset. _**That doesn't sound good. **_

__"You can go"

Moze steps into the elevator and jams the 8 button. She had been her only a few times on the rare off chance that Marcus had to have face time with Ned. Speaking of faces, Marcus's agitated red face is the first thing Moze sees when the doors slide open.

"I'm going to kill him." Marcus says slowly and controlled.

"Ned's not here?" Moze peeks around him when she steps out of the elevator. "He left a while ago"

"He was" Marcus turns and ushers her to his office. "I told him to wait for a few moments and he disappeared" He sits at his desk and his large black leather chair creaks uneasily when he sits in it. He looks down at her purple shirt. "Wow you're really pregnant"

"And you're really tactless" Moze rests her hand on her bump defensively.

"I thought he might have been making it up to distract me from the fact that he hasn't even turned in a book proposal." He puts his head in his hands and leans his elbows on the desk. "I'm at the end of my rope."

"I'll talk to him" Moze stands.

"I don't want to ask you to do that" Marcus says darkly. "Because that's bordering on emotional blackmail"

"Marcus... everything we've been through lately seems like emotional blackmail" Moze waves a good-bye to him and walks away.

-db-

Moze's phone comes alive as she walks to the end of the street. "Hello?"

"Where are you?" Ned asks with one hand plugging his ear as he yells over the noise of the waiting room in the OB/GYN office.

"At Marcus's place" Moze waits a heartbeat. "Looking for you"

"Ya could have told me" Ned steps out of the office "I put up with a half hour hearing about other women's cervical mucus"

"...um...." Moze steps into a cab. "Sounds.. fascinating"

"It really wasn't worth it. Now I have Marcus breathing down my neck.." Ned strolls down the street completely unfocused on anything but Moze.

"Wasn't worth it to go see me?"

"No, to go there and wait another half hour even though the nurse said your appointment was an hour ago" Ned glumly relates.

"Oh.."

Ned walks into a street sign with a BAM!. His phone goes flying and his head hits the pavement.

"Hello?"

"I'm in a lot of pain." Ned groans . "I'm going to sit here for a few moments and wince like a baby."

"Meet you at home." Moze clicks off with a smirk.

As fellow sidewalkers step around him, Ned stares up at the clouds. _**I am an idiot. **_

_** But she said home. So maybe she's going to stay. **_

__He stands up shakily and walks unsteadily to the nearest subway station to get home. He'd have the ride to think and overobsess about everything that happened in the last day or so. Or he would get drooled on by a drunken hobo. One of those two things.

-db-

"Lisa" Moze begins as she sits on Ned's barstool chair in the kitchen. "I really need to talk to you.. as I sit here eating chocolate and a bowl of peas." She kicks the table. "Call me back, okay?"

Moze sits there in the kitchen poking at her food until what feels like forever. _**Why the heck did I go there...**_

_** Because you're in looooooveee with hiiimm**_ Says the inner voice mockingly. _**Now will you just admit it and be happy and skip off into the sunset?**_

_** Nothing is ever that simple **_Moze pragmatically says to herself

_**Oh please. Just get over the depressive phase. **_

_** -db-**_

__"Cookie I need to talk to you" Ned sighs. "Fine be like that...

Ned puts his key in the door and turns it not sure what to expect on the other side of the door. Maybe some more peaceful quiet that they had together when they were babysitting Lissy what felt like a thousand years ago.

Moze, however flings herself at him and kisses him so suddenly he's not sure how to react. Then after a few moments he kisses her back, his arms wrapping around her into a familiar fit.

"Feeling all right there, Ned?" Moze breathes into his ear faintly.

"Everything is right with the world right now" Ned replies and holds her tight until he can hear her hear beat


	13. Baby Cribs and Bibs

Disclaimer: I don't own Ned's Declassified.

Author's Notes: I really have no good excuse for this one. Enjoy the chapter.

_From the Notebook of Ned Bigby_

_ In the words of the immortal Rolling Stones, you can't always get what you want. But I have. I'm happy. Not that contented existance I've been living for the last three years, happy. _

_ Marcus sure isn't though. If anything he's madder than he's ever been. He hasn't seen me but I can tell from his threatening e-mails that he's getting irritated. The threatening calls say he's getting furious. I can understand where he's coming from- I'm mad with myself. It's pretty difficult to be thinking about writing though, when I'm knee-deep in crib materials trying to make sure Lia doesn't get killed because I can't screw the bolt on properly. _

_ …_

_ Wait... _

_ -db-_

"Push part A into part C and bolt with bolt D" Ned mutters to himself irritatedly. "Oh-kay"

"Ned?" Moze pokes her head into the brightly painted former guest room. The butter yellow walls cause a heavenly glow to appear on her face which Ned looks at with amazement.

"Yeah?" Ned sighs darkly and puts down the leg of the crib down reverently on the floor.

"I need to get out...the sound of you sighing and grumbling is driving me nuts" Moze grins with a smile. _**If she said that in the past I'd think she was being mean.**_

__Ever since that day things had returned to the way they were before the divorce. They are so much looser now, more relaxed now that the built up tension and worries are lays a hand lightly on his shoulder and he looks up and smiles. "Yeah, sure go ahead, don't kill the bank account okay?"

"Do I ever?" She awkwardly tries to bend over with her growing bump. Her lips lightly brush his cheek and he feels a sudden warmth of joy. "Don't worry too much about the crib, okay?"

"I know" Ned whispers as she leaves. Then he picks up the instruction paper again reading to himself aloud."Take the base of the bar panel and insert into the slot in part C" Ned gives the pieces of shiny ceder a leery look. He sighs tiredly "Isn't there someone I can hire to do this?"

__-db-

Moze picks up a tiny baby dress covered in lace and pink. _**$375! **_She hastily hangs the dress back on the rack and backs up slowly. She accidentally backs into an older blonde woman who like her is very pregnant. "Ohymgosh I'm so so sorry"

"It's okay" The woman turns to her and smiles. "You're not from here, are you?"

"No.. is it that obvious?" Moze looks at the woman square in the face. The woman's bright blue eyes are kind and remind her of Ned, not of a crazy stalker.

"California?"

"Yes.. I'm spending some time at my.. " _**I suppose it's my place too? **_ "New York place"

"I'm visiting my brother Barry" The woman picks up a sun hat with embroidered flowers on it that costs a heart stopping 98 dollars. She hastily puts it down and smiles tersely at the clerk who casts a critical eye on the two shoppers. "And, obviously BROWSING" She emphasizes the last point much to the discomfort of the clerk who briefly looks up from her phone to note that she's getting subtly insulted.

"You're having a girl?" Moze asks as she eyes up a diaper bag, also absurdly high priced.

"I really hope so" The woman extends a hand over the rack to Moze. "I'm Elliot"

"Jennifer"

-db-

Exhausted from the attempt at building half of the crib, Ned flips open his laptop with a snap. _**Assembling cribs is never going to be an easy task. The manufacturers design it, I swear to make you crazy. The important thing to do is take your time and be patient. Rome wasn't built in a day and neither will your baby cage. **_ Ned hits the period button triumphantly.

Then the rest of the blank page beckons. Ned glares intensely at the blinking line

_**An image of Marcus showing up at his door wielding a crowbar for not making deadline **_pops into his head via his inner voice.

_**At least Moze's out of the house so if he kills me at least someone'll survive.**_ He sighs to himself.

He turns around and looks at the half-assembled crib behind him. _**As with all frustrating things, taking a break between stress sessions helps to create clarity in your mind. **_

__Ned chews on his lower lip for a few moments. Then he picks up the phone and calls a familiar number.

"Hey Cookie" He says when his friend picks up.

"Ned...whats up?" In California, Cookie is balancing Lissy in one arm and the phone in the other.

"You got the Little Crawler crib for Liss right?" Ned's brows knit in frustration as he shifts down to the floor again.

"Oh no, you're not going to get anywhere NEAR one of those things" Cookie shudders.

"I swear the instructions changed to Cantonese halfway through assembly." Ned mutters under his breath.

"If you lived down the block still, I'd just bring Liss's old one over to you" Cookie says teasingly with a smile. "Have you ever thought of coming back here"

"I have to admit its gone through my mind" Ned leans back against the yellow wall. "Especially since the economy's so bad, and I have decent credit"

"I can hear a but" Cookie places Lissy on the floor after she kicks him in the ribs to get on the floor.

"My life is here though" Ned lets out a breath.

"I want ...Lissy and Lia to grow up together." Cookie wishes aloud.

"I do too but how much are they really going to want to hang out?" Ned questions "I mean they're going to be almost four years apart.

"Still though.. I mean.. is Lia going to be an only child?" Cookie asks.

"I don't know" Ned adds. "I'm not much of a planner as you know"

"Ew." Cookie winces. "I don't want to picture that"

"Why,is Lissy going to be an only child?"

"Maybe. I know Lisa wants to try for a boy, but Lissy's enough for me. She's exhausting.. as you know" Cookie punctuates with a laugh.

"We'll see." Ned refers back to the original question.

-db-

"Oh I used to have a friend named Jennifer, she was in my sorority in college. But she drowned during her honeymoon last year" Elliot sighs and looks down, missing Moze's startled look at the other woman's blasé way of stating the death of a friend.

"My husband already has a son from a previous relationship, so I'm hoping for a little girl." Elliot says almost with a frenzied look. "He doesn't quite understand the excitement of being a mommy soon" Her face gets suddenly a sick look on it.

"It probably contributes that he's not the pregnant one" Moze says dryly.

"True" Elliot straightens up. "I hate this nauseated feeling I keep getting."

"I've been getting cramps." Moze adds. Suddenly, she drops to the floor and collapses.

"Jennifer?" Elliot runs to the other side of the rack. She whips out a cell phone and calls 911. "Hello? Yes I need an ambulance to Le Baby Boutique on Fifth? My friend Jennifer just collapsed ans she's pregnant..."

The last thing Moze remembers before she passes out is Elliot holding her hand and reassuring her "Don't worry. I'm a doctor, you're going to be okay"

-db-

"Hello?" Ned picks up the jauntily trilling phone from his desk. He lifts his head off the keyboard, noting that his brief nap on the keyboard has succeeded in producing nothing but gibberish.

"Um, is this Ned?" says an unfamiliar voice.

"Yeah.. who is this? If it's Marcus I'm not available at the moment"

"No.. this is Elliot Reid- your wife collapsed in the.." Elliot begins. She hears a crash on the other end of the line. "Ned?"

"Yeah sorry about that" Ned huffs as he comes to a halt outside the building . "I just ran down here to get a cab. Where is she, what happened, what what WHAT"

"Columbia Medical" Elliot says slowly and controlled.

"I'm on my way" Ned tumbles into a cab, whacking his head into the roof of the cab.

"She's in the ER right now." Elliot sighs heavily. "She's asking for you."

"Tell her I love her. And I'll see her soon" Ned hangs up.

Elliot walks back in to the room from the overly bright hallway. "You okay?"

"..."

"Your husband might kill himself getting here." Elliot reaches behind Moze and fluffs her pillow.

"Mnnnh" Moze looks up at her.

"You're going to be fine" Elliot pats her head, tangling her ring in Moze's hair

"ARGH!" Moze yelps and shoots up.

"No, don't move, you're on a lot of heavy medication" Elliot detangles it just as Ned crashes through the curtain.

"Hi." Ned waves at the unknown blonde stranger. "I'm sorry that we had to meet under these circumstances. Thank you. So much."

"Any time" Elliot takes a small pad of paper out of her enormous bag.

_**Why do girls always carry huge purses**__. _ Ned observes. He mentally slaps himself for his ability to be easily distracted.

Elliot scribbles her name and number down on the paper then tucks it into Moze's bag tossed haphazardly on the floor. "If you need anything."

"Thanks" Moze gurgles out.

"Hey." Ned pulls up a chair next to her bed.

Moze nods and stares up at the ceiling.

"I think you're going to be okay." Ned pauses. "I hope so. In those books I bought it says that you can have cramping and bleed a little."

Moze looks over at him for a moment and closes her eyes. Ned reaches for her hand and lightly grazes his fingertips over her hand.

"It's going to be fine" Ned says shakily. "You're starting to worry me, Moze" He says softly as the light blue curtain is pulled back suddenly.

"Mr. Bigby?"

Ned doesn't react for a moment. "Oh yeah. That's me"

"Your wife just had a few false contractions. These happen as we get closer and closer to her due date" The doctor, an older man with a kind smile gestures toward the chart in his left hand.

"That's good" Ned murmurs. _**I know this causes her pain but.. the baby is fine. **_

"We'd like to keep her for a little while just to make sure" The doctor adds. "Is that fine?"

"Do anything you have to to make sure she's fine" Ned looks down at Moze who has drifted off to sleep. "She's so much to me".

"I'm glad to hear that" The doctor hands him a card. "Give this to her OB-GYN, I'd like to speak with her as soon as possible."

Ned tucks the card into his wallet. "Sure. And you are..?"

"Dr. Madden. I'm sorry for being so rude" Dr. Madden sticks his hand out in a shake. After shaking his hand he indicates toward the door. "You can leave if you need do, she's just going to sleep for now."

"If it's alright I'm going to stay for a while" Ned sits back down and smooths a few loose strands on top of her head.

"It's more than fine" The doctor leaves but not before giving Ned a smile of encouragement.

-db-

"Ey there" Ned is woken from his dreamstate by a nurse. He lifts his head off the edge of Moze's bed and blinks the sleep out of his eyes.

"You've been here for my whole shift. Go home darlin' and get some sleep" The woman pats his shoulder. "She's gonna like ya better if she don't smell ya before she sees ya"

"I guess" Ned hauls himself up and crawls out the door. Somehow he makes it home, although how he's not sure how he got there. He stands on the doorstep, pausing for a moment to take a deep breath.

As soon as he steps into the apartment, the scent of her overwhelms him. _How did you ever live without her for the last three years? _

"I don't know" Ned says quietly. "I DON'T KNOW!" He repeats again yelling to the empty rooms.

-db-

Moze wakes up and looks to her left. "When did he leave?" She asks a nearby nurse

"Only about an hour ago" The nurse adjusts an IV. "I hadda send him home he looked terrible."

"Oh" Moze seems to sink into the bed. "That's okay."

"He'll be back."

"I know" Moze replies. "But I still miss him." She stares up at the white ceiling until the nurse leaves. Then she pulls down the blanket and gazes at her protruding belly. "Lia my Lia girl... I'm so happy you're okay" She rubs her bump.

"Hey" Ned walks in the room, looking disheveled but overall better than he did the night before. He has shaved and generally looks cleaner.

"Everything's okay" Moze utters quietly.

"I know. Now it will be." Ned crouches next to the hospital bed and opens the ring box with a sudden audiable snap.

"Wha.."

"Jennifer Mozely Bigby..."

"Ned, you don't have to do this..."

"Will you..."

"Are you doing this because you feel guilty about my defective uterus?"

Ned stops. "What?"

"Yes" Moze reaches for his hand.

And at that moment, Ned feels himself filled up with hope for them, Lia, and the future.

Read and Review!


	14. Surprise!

Disclaimer: I don't own Ned's Declasified.

Author's Notes: I've been sitting so long on this I feel like it's been forever.. and you readers have reminded me that it's been forever. I haven't wanted to finish this because, well there's only this chapter and the epilogue and..this is over. I've been working on this story and the two that came before it for so long I almost don't want to let go of it. I hope you like it.

_From the Notebook of Ned Bigby_

_ I'm torn. Ever since Cookie brought up me and Moze moving back to California, I can't get it off my mind. Ideally, yes, I would love to have our girls grow up together, and for Moze, Cookie, Lisa and I to grow old watching them play on the grass as we sit on lounge chairs. _

_ I know Moze wouldn't fight me. In fact, she'd probably be the one packing the suitcases. _

_ But...I've gotten used to my rhythm here. The crabby cab drivers, the quirky coffee shops, the tall buildings, my messy apartment. _

_ Nothing has to be decided right now. _

_ It is, however a distraction from actually having to start that book of mine. _

_ -db-_

"Shoudn't you be like.. writing a book or something?" Moze's voice drifts over to the kitchen from her position on the couch with her feet propped up on the coffee table.

"Shouldn't you be like..popping out a baby?" Ned dryly retorts as he takes a sip out of his water glass. "Sheesh, you've been pregnant for like 10 years now"

"The doctor says it's nothing to be concerned about" Moze rubs her round belly with a grin. "I'd rather be like this forever"

"I can handle you having the boobs forever" Ned smirks at her as he walks over to the couch to lay a soft kiss on Moze's forehead. She closes her eyes then smacks him sharply in the ear.

"Hey.. I hear ringing" Ned says as he clasps his ear. "I think you ruined me"

"Idiot, that's the phone ringing" Moze lifts the cordless phone off the pile of magazines on the table. She tosses it to him "It's Jo."

"H'lo?" Ned hacks into the phone.

"Hey baby bro" Jo says with a drawl. "Any baby yet?"

"Don't you think I would have told you?" Ned chuckles. "Aunt Jo"

"Uh, no. I want to be the cool aunt without any titles" recites Johanna. "Anyways, you don't tell me anything. We've never been the touchy feely sibling duo, you know"

"Maybe it's time we started" Ned suggests.

"Um. I thought it was Moze who was going through hormonal fluctuations" Jo teases. "Where is all of this sentimentality coming from?"

"I don't know..." Ned says dreamily.

"Whatever...Just remember, I'm not Auntie Jo, I'm Jo"

"Jojo?"

"JO!"

"Jojo. Right.. like the monkey. Talk to you later, sis" Ned presses the end button on the phone and lets out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding.

"What's up with your sister?" Moze lazily drawls "Is she thinking of adding to the Bigby clan?"

"Moze, you know better than **that**" Ned sits down next to her "Aaron's not smart enough to spawn. She just wanted to know how you're doing." He rubs her bump gently. "Lia, you can come whenever you're ready"

Moze shifts over so she's leaning on Ned's chest. "Ned?"

"Mmm?" Ned murmers into her ear as he gets sucked into the Psych episode Moze has been watching.

"Are we staying here?" Moze ventures. "We've never discussed this but..."

"I want to" Ned says carefully. "I'm so adjusted to being here.."

"I like it here" Moze ponders. "I really..I have no job or apartment keeping me in California. All I have is my stuff in storage in Cookie and Lisa's house, and a stack of rejection letters"

"You might not have to work, if I could finish this book" Ned sighs in frustration.

"Ned, don't worry." Moze squeezes his hand reassuringly. "You just need a spark of inspiration. You're lucky. Things work out in the end."

"Liss won't be happy if we don't let her play with her friend" Ned quips.

"What's she really going to do with Lia anyway at this age?" Moze says "Lia won't be able to even hold up her head..."

"How about we stay here for now. Figure things out along the way. Stay home with Lia until you decide whether or not to work, and...its okay." Ned offers.

"That's how we get along" Moze smiles at Ned. The cordless phone from where Ned left it trills again.

"Well. We're popular today,aren't you?" Ned regards the phone suspiciously.

"No rest for the weary" Moze hands Ned the phone again and curls up on the couch.

"Hey...Cookie.. what's up?" Ned pats her head as he walks through the apartment.

"Guess what just happened?"

"I dunno, Lissy threw up in a priceless vase at your parent's house?" Ned quirks a smile.

"That was **last week** that's old news" Cookie grins. "Guess whose about to be a parent?"

"Suzie?" Ned ventures.

"No, why would you say that?" Cookie's expression folds into a confused face. "Did she say she wanted a baby?"

"Not in so many words but..." Ned gesticulates. "Yes..."

"**Lisa and I!**" Cookie yells into the phone. Lisa walks up to him and whacks him in the ear.

"I just put Lissy down for a nap and you have to start being loud?" She affectionately teases Cookie with a hint of a smile. "Just keep it down, okay? I know you're excited!"

"You.. are a parent" Ned drolly says. "Unless you borrow Lissy whenever we come to town"

"I know, I'm just so excited." Cookie says gleefully. "I think Lissy's grown up enough that we could handle two..."

"Hold on a second" Ned covers the mouthpiece to the phone. "Moze! Cookie and Lisa are having another baby!"

"What? Moze sits up so her head pokes over the back of the couch. "Give me the phone! Get me Lisa!"

"Oh-kay" Ned nods. "Cookie can you give Lisa the phone for a moment? They want to have girl time..and I guess I should be trying to work on my book a little more"

"Yeah no problem" Cookie hands the phone over to Lisa. Moze squeals into the phone

"What the **hell**! Lisa, you didn't even tell me you were trying!" Moze shrieks as Ned walks further into the back of the apartment to his office.

Ned sits down in his office and stares out of the window. _**Now there really is a reason to go back to California. The new baby and Lia will be almost the same age...Give or take nine months.**_

__He fiddles with the blinds.

"When did I become an adult and how can I make it stop?" Ned thinks aloud as he sits in his rolling chair and pushes himself back and forth off of the edge of the desk so he rolls back and forth.

He exhales sharply and pushes himself harder off of the desk. He rolls away so fast he slams into the wall. Woozily he clutches his head. The chair tips backwards, sending him sprawling to the floor with a crash.

"I gotta go, Lisa.." He distantly hears Moze say. "I think Ned has somehow hurt himself again..." He hears the squeak of the couch springs as she stands up. "I don't know how I'm ever going to trust him with a baby."

As she gets closer, he can hear the faintest murmer of Lisa's reply. "Yeah I know, I should have thought of that before I married him."

"I'll let you go, I have to help him off of the floor" Moze hits end and puts the phone down on Ned's desk. "Ned?"

"I'm fine" Ned winces. "Head hurts a little"

"Let's get dinner. That'll make you feel better" She extends an arm out to him and he accepts.

"Is it embarassing to you too that even practically ten months pregnant you can wrench me off the floor?" Ned asks.

"Not at all" Moze says. "It's part of your charm."

-db-

"Ned?" Moze whispers very softly. It is now nighttime, with the moonlight shining through the window. Ned has fallen asleep but wakes up at her voice.

"What, are you cold? Do you need another blanket?" Ned grabs a light blue blanket out of the hamper that is sitting on the floor. "I know it's drafty here..."

"Ned."

"Decaf tea?" He runs into the kitchen then runs back with a lukewarm cup of water.

"Ned." Moze stands up, a line of clear fluid trickling down her flannel pajama pants. "I think.. my water broke".

"Oh." Ned pauses for a moment. "Just get your shoes on. We're going to the hospital"

Moze waddles around the apartment "I can't remember where I left them." She moans. Ned throws a pair of Crocs at her feet.

"Just wear these.. it's three o'clock in the morning, do you think anyone cares what's on your feet?"

"Get a cab. Please" She winces and walks off to get her overnight bag.

"Can you believe this?" Ned comes up behind her. "God, I couldn't have pictured this a year ago"

_**I dreamed of this, the first time**_ Moze thinks to herself. _**But this time, it's actually working out.**_

"I think we've had enough surprises" Ned grins. "I..."

"Shhhh" Moze hushes him "Sweetie.. stop babbling, you're worrying me"

"Okay. I'm just nervous is all" Ned takes a deep breath.

"You're not the one who has to push out a human being out of your butt" Moze grouchily retorts as she steps carefully into the elevator.

"I'm pretty sure it doesnt go like that." Ned ponders. "Do you want me to call Cookie and Lisa? Suzie?"

"Ned." Moze steps outside into the street. "How did you...?"

"I didn't." Ned stares in bewilderment at the taxi idling before them. "Who cares. Jump in"

"Whereya heading to?" The cab driver grunts out.

"Nearest hospital, please...my wife is having a baby" Ned proudly says.

"You in a hurry?" He asks as they pull into the street.

"**YES WE'RE IN A HURRY**" Moze bellows as they drive off.

"Sheesh, ya don't have to be so cranky" The cab driver grouses.

"I wouldn't mess with her." Ned advises "She's really fearsome, you know."

-db-

"We rush getting here, and she's nowhere to be found." Moze mutters as she lies in the hospital bed, Ned at her side and many beeping machines.

"We're not in a hurry." Ned says as a response.

"_**We**_are not having contractions. _**I**_ am" Moze points out

"It's nothing to worry about just yet" The doctor checking Moze out says with a slight smile.

"I am soooooo tired of hearing that" Moze adds with a drawl. "You have no idea"

"Just sit and be patient." The doctor turns quickly on her heel. "It'll happen when it happens"

"Ned?" Moze looks up at him wearily. "Will you kill him for me?"

"Sweetie. I would. Any other time. But there's going to be blood everywhere in a little bit, and I know how you hate dealing with tough laundry stains." Ned says with a drawl.

"Funny. Real funny" The doctor murmers. "Dad, you're going to have to wait outside since she's a high risk."

"A high risk of what?" Ned's eyes widen.

"It's too soon to tell for right now, everything might be okay.. Can you just wait outside in the Dad's room down the hall for a little while just for me to make sure?" The doctor says gently but firmly. "It's the last door before you reach the elevators."

"Fine." Ned sighs. He kisses Moze softly on the forehead and leaves the room albeit reluctantly.

When he gets to the "Dad's Room"; a blue painted room filled with pacing fathers to be and family members patiently awaiting the arrivals of their new additions.

_**I don't belong here**_. Ned thinks to himself as he alternates between pacing in a circle and staring out of the . _**I belong there in that room. Moze and I do enough leaving each other...**_

_** But the thing is... **_Ned looks down the hall both ways. **_Who can stop me? I'm the one paying the bills. It's MY kid there. _**

__Ned's phone rings again and he mutters an explicitive under his breath. "Cookieee.. Hey..."

"Hey. I need to ask you something kinnnnnda important" Cookie trails off.

"Can it wait? I'm going to break into Moze's room."

"...Is that code for something, buddy?"

"No, they won't let me in there"

"Ned..." Cookie says after a long pause. "You go in there and do what you have to do."

"I knew you'd understand." Ned whispers as he shimmies toward the door while the other fathers are distracted by a hockey game being shown on ESPN. He carefully unlatches the door, taking great caution to make sure that he make no sound as he creeps through, then closes the door.

_**Don't lie, you've always loved pretending to be a spy**_ his inner voice chortles as he pretends to be walking casually down the hallway. A nurse wearing bright purple scrubs briskly strides down the hallway. Ned recognizes her from Moze's room and quickly ducks into a storage closet to avoid being spotted. He spies an abandoned coat that says Jacob Litman, Registered Dietician. Ned ponders it for a few moments, then steps out the door, swaggering in his disguise to Moze's room.

When he gets there, he breathes a sigh of relief and leans against the door. _**I can't believe that actually worke...**_ Whoever is on the other side of the door opened it, causing Ned to stumble and fall through the door.

"Oh hello, Mr. Bigby. I was going to just come and get you" The doctor quizzically stares at Ned's attire. "Everything is fine, the baby's nearly here." He squeezes Ned's shoulder and exits the room for a moment. Ned returns to the room and lays a hand on Moze's head.

"Hey."

"I see you escaped." Moze wheezes out as another contraction hits her in a wave. "I think it's almost here. Are you ready to meet your daughter?"

"Ever since you told me."

"Are you ready to be a dad?" She says with a slightly joking tone.

"I'm going to do the best I can with what I can. And if she's anything like her mom, she's going to be an ass kicking hell raiser who can reduce me to a puddle of goo"

"Thanks sweetie" Moze drowsily says. She grips his hands as she suffers through more pain. Ned's fingers turn first a whitish color, then blue.

"You're almost almost there!" The nurse cheerily encourages Moze. Moze lets out a screech that Ned could have sworn was impossible for humans to make. Then there is nothing but complete silence for a moment, then Ned hears a loud cry.

"Congratulations, it's a baby boy!" announces the doctor. "Dad, do you want to cut the..."

Then he notices that Ned is passed out on the floor.

"Does he do this often?" He inquiries to Moze.

"Unfortunately." Moze manages to stammer out. "Usually I manage to get a pillow so he doesnt hurt his head"

I hope it lived up to what everyone wanted... Read and Review!


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